Allow love to speak throu what you do & there’ll be no wrong turnings

"We don’t dictate your life because the decisions you have to make for yourself are how you grow. They’re ‘taken down and used in evidence’, not judgementally but judgeheartedly.
If we were to tell you the 'right' thing and you did it half-heartedly that would be more inappropriate than doing the 'wrong' thing whole-heartedly.
"Allow your love to speak throu what you do & there’ll be no wrong turnings."

The only constant source of power is your inner light

"The only constant source of power is your inner light. The long-term cost of following it is always much less than the cost of stifling it - even if it appears to impose an 'impossible' cost initially. A candle that is off-vertical may burn for a time, but it burns uneconomically & the results are messy!"

Received at Findhorn, where I'd gone for a retreat to consider my future after resigning from the RCM

Anger

"Anger is a sign of unresolved elements in the personality. If the process of life is transmuting matter into spirit, then anger represents hard blocks of untransformed matter. To inter–percolate with the world of spirit you must become fluid. That’s why the angry can't leave the earth plane.
"The given personality has to dissolve in order for the latent personality to emerge. Physical existence is a mist. You’re conscious of light around you but not of its source. As you progress you come to realise there is a focal point from which it comes. And eventually as you rise above the atmosphere you see the sun shining ever more clearly."

Rewards

"You had the courage to follow my voice, and I will now give you rewards beyond your imagining;* but first you must learn to hear me in all situations. Practise listening each hour, and become accustomed to checking in to your internal consciousness. I am with you. I watch over you. I will guard and keep you and those you love. Have no fear. Act boldly within a framework of love. There are different (moral) pathways. Don’t assume you will always continue in the same one. You’ve made a change now. Some years ahead you can expect another. By being open you remain stable. If you fear change you become rigid and are easily put off balance."

* Uploading this guidance 15 years later, I look back on the mindset I held then & realise how the expansion that takes place simply cannot be comprehended. I could only conceive of reward/s within my existing, egoic value system. What I could not anticipate was how my value system itself was to change (& thus the very notion of 'reward' within ego-centric perception) as the fires of karmic purification raged! In fact, I would say now, the principal reward is that very change itself, and one's consequential release from any sense of nuclear individualism.

Pursue your transformation

"All now depends on your etheric energy to make connections with your angels. Put your bleeper on and focus your energy every hour. If you can accept yourself, others will accept you.
"In allowing yourself to fall you will stabilise. As soon as you reach the right place blessings will shower upon you. Pursue your transformation. The function of night is to give way to day. Of course you don’t know what the new day looks like while it's still dark, but trust the process. When has daylight ever disappointed?
"Pay what you owe. Be fair. Praise your partner for support. As to your overdraft, use it's negative energy to intensify your focus. Don’t be afraid of anything — it has all been given to you on purpose, and will change just as soon as you learn how to dwell within the higher realities. Put your energies into that and draw the rewards into your physical world.
"If you could see it all from our perspective you’d find it hard not to be impatient! You’re so nearly there. Keep on."

Money offers opportunities for inner listening

"You urgently need to sort out your finances. Treat it as a series of opportunities to practise inner listening. You must transfer your energies wholly to the higher plane. Don’t push for anything with your natural energy, develop your psychic energy."

What you learn from walking a tightrope ...

"What you learn from walking a tightrope is the glorious liberty of perfect balance. If you no longer wish to deviate, the limitations are no problem. Absolute stillness is required. Stillness is not passivity nor inaction, it's invisible movement at the intensity of light.
"Perfection is dynamic and progressive. You are at your best now, but in the future your percept of 'best' will have evolved still further. This is the nature of the metaphysical universe.

"Take your time. Everything develops at its own pace. There is you, atma, & there is everythingelse, brahma. You really expect to synchronise instantly with the mechanism of aeons? How different your time–frames are. And after the Universe has adapted itself to your needs in the twinkling of an eye, to whose of the billions of needs should adapt itself next?
It doesn’t work that way. It can't.
"If you have thought the universe a dark empty place, what does that tell you? That it is? No – that you think it so. Which is right? Your experience of course. You can only speak from your own truth. But if, instead of clinging to an individuality which you instinctively know to be barren, you surrender to the darkness of your fears – your eyes will soon open to accept a range of light and experience beyond your conscious imagining.
"All created matter is built in potential harmony. Humanity alone has the power to create and develop harmonies that didn’t exist before. The art of the musician consists in drawing the maximum sonority from hir instrument, based on a respect for and understanding of the medium itself. Your body, mind and spirit are built to be receptors reflecting the power and energy of these universal harmonies. So long as you are turned inward, uncertain of your own voice, your experience is bound to be lonely, frightening and empty.

"Love begins, sustains, and concludes the transformation. Love is the evolutionary force governing the universe – the counter-balance of everything."

Use laughter to enter a relaxed feeling of honouring

If one’s meditation is blocked, are there any techniques?
"Think of something funny. Use laughter to break up the situation and enter a relaxed feeling of honouring. I have to say you probably wouldn’t be blocked if you’d got up when you first woke! Be disciplined."

Later, when I was asking about my authentic voice a dog yelped in the street and I realised that it was necessary only to speak naturally.

Where great light abounds great darkness is also found

"You’ll get throu this, but only if you walk step by step. It's vital for you both to pool your knowledge about spending, and to buy groceries with the utmost care, excluding whatever is not absolutely essential. The situation has been engineered to cause you to literally watch and pray. Please now stop drinking altogether; apart from the expense, it deadens your inner ear.
You can't serve God & Mammon. It's important that you consult and decide together. No more, you in your corner, C in hers.
"Where great light abounds great darkness is also found. Now the period of unreality is over you must make your life a tribute to the light.
"You are the Moses. You must find your Aaron. In the meantime by all means offer yourself to Geoff. It would be a fine learning path. I am not yet made whole in you. K is in danger, you should be prepared to help her."

As the pace quicken you must pay the most careful attention to remaining in the light

"To traverse from one state of consciousness to another involves passing throu a black hole, or point of negative gravity. Light approaching this gets sucked in, reaching a narrow beam of coherence. Before you come to this juncture you have considerable latitude, but as the pace quicken you must pay the most careful attention to remaining in the light if the process is to succeed."

Don't miss your big chance - Be single-minded about being ready

"You can't have it both ways. Either you want to follow a spiritual path and be led by the highest power ... or you know best. This dithering between the 2 ways has brought you to the point you now face.
"Your energy has been refined like air to receive from spiritual sources and therefore is no longer as dense as is required to motivate those who are earthy. Unless you make the leap and commit yourself wholly to the higher energies the lower ones will drag you down, and you’ll be caught forever between the 2, belonging to neither.
"It isn’t our way to dictate. But if you can't follow what is being said clearly, how will you grow in perception to receive the subtler transmissions that can direct you forwards? If you were a trapeze artist and the swing was traveling toward you how could you hope to catch it if you weren’t poised to respond with split-second precision? If you just stand there, not concentrating to see which direction its coming from and hoping that it’ll hit you, there’s every chance you’ll fumble the connection or be knocked off balance. If the swing turns back without you it could be many years before all the rhythms recycle to bring it back. And you’d be left dangling. This is your chance. Be single-minded about being ready."

A second chance

"When you hear something clearly and then you equivocate, how can you expect to continue to hear my voice? Look, in the summer I expressly showed you to resign from the RCM at Christmas and go to Findhorn. Then you retracted your resignation, and as a result you floundered. Now, unusually, I’ve given you a second chance and you’re still not sure. This is it chum. If you’re so disattuned you can’t heed my voice there’s nothing more I can do."

Step forward joyfully into the dawn

"You’ve now come to the point of decision. Step forward joyfully into the dawn. Don’t allow the dark shadows to excite the apprehension in your mind. What you have longed for has come to pass. Do it courageously. I will provide."

This came as I finalised my resignation from the the Junior Royal College of Music

Getting and giving is a mutual process

"Getting and giving is a mutual process. If you’re a prudent giver you’ll wait until the desire of your recipient matches what you wish to offer. God functions in a similar way. S/he must draw you to a point of mutuality. If you resist, or insist you know best, there’s nothing s/he can do. For the gifts have to travel from the world of infinite possibility (mushín) before they can emerge in your physical world.
"Therefore both realities have to be closely synchronised for the process to take place. Belief/trust/faith is what synchronises them. And praise/honour is what excites faith. Try to create an atmosphere of praise and warmth."

Examine what challenges you

"Nothing is of itself: all things are part of another. The spiritual person sees that and walks accordingly: the fool seeks to divide and claim possession of a single element. Different people have different gifts precisely so as to have the capacity and the privilege to trust each other. Imagine the effect knowing everything would have on an un-spiritually-prepared person?
"Remember always to show respect to all people and viewpoints — especially those you hate. They will probably have a deeper message for you than those you can readily accept. Examine what challenges you: absorb what disturbs you so that you can balance your experience. Enter your enemy’s experience; perhaps s/he'll no longer be your enemy?"

Honouring your self creates harmony all around you

"If giving praise (honouring) is important, so is receiving it. Observe how insincere people trade flattery – observe the wonderful effect it has! Everyone loves them. They're actually doing what you should be doing — warming their atmosphere with praise. Characteristically, they speak of the outer person but you can speak of the inner.
"Perhaps you think you haven’t the insight or the status? What nonsense. You have a unique entitlement to say what I/we show. The more holistic, the better it’ll work; & the better it works, the more it’ll unify your own personality. Praise doesn’t just make you look outward, it opens your heart to receive honour directly from heaven. If you’re in the habit of honouring /praising it’ll attract honour /praise to you.
"And yourself? Why not praise /honour your self? Honouring sets all things in harmony. It is the nature and state of heaven. When your heart is exalted you experience heaven. This is what awaits you! Something to look forward to, eh? But you can know it now, you can have that experience within your everyday life, if you’ll only make that little effort to love yourself and show yourSelf approval. If you strive it can't happen — it requires trust. For trust produces balance.
"All we want to do is welcome more and more joyful-filled /joy-fulfilled souls into our world of light. Come with us, be one of us."

5 Riddles of Light

"How pleasant to see you again. We bring you light. The light showers upon you, whether you can see it or not."
How could we not see light? If it did not enlighten, how indeed could it be light?
"Many lights shine upon you do they not? Only people with spiritual attunement can distinguish between the different qualities. Some light carries the whole spectrum, some a highly partial one. Subjectively all may be functional but only a certain kind of colour balance is actually beneficial to the eye.
"The glare of delusion often eclipses the simple flame of truth.

There are 4 things that are hard to understand, a fifth that puzzles the greatest minds:
What is the condition of light when it is not shining?
What happens to darkness in the presence of light?
What is the origin & source of light that it should be different from darkness?
From the heat of toil, darkness is a blessing – yet people fear it.
There is no path dividing darkness & light that can be recognised or trodden."

Light is never lost, even in the dark season

"Within everyone there is a light which guides. If that secret, personal light is tended and nurtured it becomes a joyful fire which warms the individual and enlightens anyone who touches your life in any way. If the inner light is not attended to it shrivels away to the faintest glimmer. So long as life exists it can never be extinguished, but if covered over or lost among artificial illumination it may be very hard to restore.
"If you want to understand, you can. But you must put away every theory and be willing to listen to nothing except your own heartbeat. Don’t be surprised if it gives you different answers at different times — or even at the same time! This is just a reflection of your divided personality. Within every dilemma you can sense that one path calls you to growth, while other paths are suggested by your mental conditioning.
"At first it is often by no means easy to discern which is which. However, your heart knows. Follow it no matter how ‘impossible’ — a way will open throu whatever barrier opposes you, be it rock, desert, or sea. Each obstacle strengthens you to become weaker. Helpless you become aware of your true power.
"As you grow you become lighter. Shining you become conscious of the darkness. Grounded you’re released from gravity. But if you strive you hold yourself back. If you seek reward it’ll tie you to the earth. If you care, you'll be trapt.
"Dance in the morning sun. Feel it echo the warmth within. Welcome the rain which makes things grow. Welcome the frost which causes seeds to germinate. Welcome the autumn which lays things to rest.
"Welcome the time of summer’s abundance, but don’t forget that its to be no more than a quarter of your cycle. Winter will pass when its work is done. Hasten it by accepting what must die, and allow the new light to glimmer, then glow, then flicker, then burst out into the tremulous glory of a new springtime."

Echo

Be content to be invisible, humble, steadfast.
Be content …
Don't strive for situations that can only expose you to moral danger.
Don't strive …
Just accept that you are within the plan the Universe has for you.
Just accept …
Follow your inner voice no matter how alarming your predicament.
Follow your inner voice …

It is all part of experience designed to help you
respect yourself as a whole person.
You are a whole person already -
please acknowledge yourself for all you're worth.

The relationship between physical & psychic need

"It is right for you to concentrate on your outer needs at this time."
Why didn’t you bring this into my awareness sooner?
"Because you weren’t ready. Your needs are not as you see them, for your ‘need’ distorts your perception. Physical needs are always reflections of psychic needs.
The natural human impulse is to meet the physical need and then sort out the psychic. But by doing that you close up the window of greatest opportunity for inner transformation. Your physical need has evolved in order to peel back layers of protective consciousness. When that process has reached its most acute your outer awareness is thinnest and therefore most alert to the inner world.
"Suppose I had resolved your outer need earlier, you would have assumed that represented the maximum transformation required? You trusted and were, as promised, sustained. By continuing to respond to your inner promptings, even in the face of pressure, you have detached the existing linkage that locked your inner and outer realities together, and are now free to alter the balance — which you never would’ve been before. Now you’re to be rewarded, and I tell you now so you may prepare and not be swept off balance by new opportunities. Moreover, your spiritual priorities having been established you will no longer have false expectations about how and whence this comes.
It is above all important, if you wish to progress spiritually, that you maintain an inner detachment. Always resolve psychic need first. If you can't separate the two ask what most dignifies the Way, your immediate surroundings. This doesn’t imply losing sight of your goal, or not having one, rather it means allowing it to evolve.
Maybe your goal was at first the physical realisation of a certain ambition. Don’t be misled by the presence of other people’s expectations: your goal is always to do what is right for the Universe. In that there is transformation for you and for everyone. The goal is to make whole — but be wise: wholeness is relative. You’ve seen for yourself; to make fully whole may require to a fundamental remoulding. Don’t attempt to do our work for us! Don’t invent agendas for others, nor build with unstable materials. When you’re centred the right partners will manifest themselves. Armed with that knowledge you need never be weak.
Never allow the magnitude of your surroundings to daunt you. The same principles apply in palaces as in hovels. It takes real balance and inner attunement to know when its right to yield and right to be firm. But by remaining flexible, if need be to the point of resignation from your own creation, you maintain an awareness that allows for the possibility of evolution.
Always retain the right to change your mind, but do so in such a way that others can participate in the process. If they accuse you of inconsistency ignore the charge, for you can be sure that they will be the least consistent themselves. Don’t allow the imbalance of others to distort your own, no matter how strong the pressure. Don’t introject (absorb as a reality) the consciousness of others with a strong outer reality but inside a psychic vacuum. Be true to your inmost self, avoid excess. Balance is both the way and the destination."