When the ego is stilled we begin to hear the symphony that was always present

> I guess I must have asked how long the torture of my uncertainty /falling would continue?

"Until there is no flesh and blood, just a living shell resonating.
Music holds out its hands and very simply asks for help."


Believe in the reality you want to create

"Be still, don’t let your ego get involved. Abstain from drinking. Begin to live as your highest self aspires to.
Sad heart, faint heart, look up, look up! You are my love, you are my passionate beating heart. You are my greatest joy in creation. I delight in noone more than you. Don’t despair, let go mourning, release yourself into the glorious sunlight. You carry your fate in your hands – why lug around a dark suitcase of horrors? Let those who want horror live with it - we are children of the dawn. Let us live as befits the heirs of light.
O sorely tested one, release your desires, your yearning for circumstances beyond your control. Allow your transformation to begin. To you who cry ‘will it ever be morning?’ I say look at me in love – look at the darkness, stare intently at the forms that throng around you. Because you’re insisting it’s night you can’t see the helpers that surround you: but the world you experience is simply the one you believe exists.
Do you feel darkness? You are darkness.
Do you feel light? You are light.
If you feel in two minds how can you act coherently? – I say to you one word, one word which changes dark to light, heaviness to joy, emptiness to fulfilment – PRAISE. Praise what? Anything - yes, even your self, just honour the godness of goodhead ...
Just let the form of the praise come forth from you as naturally as a nightingale’s song."

> This must have been just after returning from Sai Baba - an extraordinary light-filled episode, that was followed by the chaos of moving house on return home.