Don't accept substitutes

"Even when it’s bad it’s good. This is the paradox. Nothing can happen that is not for your soul’s welfare. This is not to say that the fountain-spring of life causes it to happen. Far from it. Many of the greatest horrors that afflict the world are of humanity’s, or let’s be specific man’s, own making – his intellect prefers to discuss a belief, and believe in a belief, rather than penetrate to the reality where there is no belief, and therefore no discussion.
"You are at war with yourselves: that is why the right hand fights the left hand. It is significant that in terms of body language it is the exterior terminology that is described. For it is a competition of appearances. And those who are caught up in externality are the slaves of 'belief’. This has led to the death of billions. When their shallow and half-formed psyches hear certain trigger words it arouses the dragon of confusion, and like a sleeper suddenly roused, they lash out without understanding. And many die."
> This is not bad?
"It causes great suffering to be sure. But there is no bad or good, for these are terms you use to describe what you want /don’t want to happen or what makes you (un/)comfortable. You must penetrate beyond the surface reality if you are to understand and come to any point of balance.
The law of karma (action /reaction) governs the physical world. An unbalanced action produces an unbalanced reaction. Like a spinning top running out of control, only balance, centring and renewed motivation can recreate gyrostability. Many forces act upon the soul, some are constructive, some are destructive. And good fortune may be harder to bear in purity than bad fortune! True balance cannot be deflected either by good or bad, high or low, left or right, forwards or backwards. Grace(fulness) is balanced energy."



"The whole is the part: the part is the whole. All experience is one. Because of your conceptual limitations you cannot cope with paradox - you see different types of experience as separate or unrelated. For instance, sexuality and sanctity – athleticism and √¶stheticism – compassion and car usage. That is why we emphasise the importance of a simple unified awareness, being. So don’t strive after cleverness, or compete for public attention or reward. Just be, and that authenticity will draw to you whatever you require."


Actions create re-actions

> Why can I not accept what I am so clearly shown?
"The difficulty you have is karmic. You are governed by a mass of inert life-experience which has to be reanimated and redirected. Remember the law which states that every action produces an equal and opposite action? That’s what you’re dealing with. But it can work for you too! For if you have built up good karma it will protect you from falling too far - for a time at least.
"You have so many 'minds’ that you must nourish them all. Action and energy stimulate your primary sensory awareness - sport, hunting, driving. That can squeeze out your deeper consciousness (where real change happens). The 2 must be balanced. And the balance itself will help the process."


Feeling down is just another way of being

"So, you feel better; but are you better? If so, better than what, better than whom?
You are the same, all that has changed is your feelings. To accept yourself when you feel under par is not to enjoy or choose to wallow in those feelings, but simply to accept yourself. And if you can accept yourself for the 'worst’ you are, how much more will you enjoy your future greatness when your integrated best glows like radioactive phosphor in the dark.
Love yourself; love every part of yourself, including the unsightly bits, and you will bring true love into your whole environment."



"After this test will come another, and after that another - until all the hate and the rage and the hope is squeezed out of you - and you will be content to be in the present without looking either backwards or forwards, just perfectly balanced. So you see there is nothing 'bad’ that can happen to you – for good and bad serve the same purpose.
"Love is the motive power of the Universe. If you truly find that Love within your self, and lock yourself onto its spiritual trajectory, you cannot fail to arrive at the total fulfilment of all experience that Love (alone) offers. Is this not the destination everyone longs for?
Go - be - love."



Being faithful in small things

"Be thankful if little is required of you - for it's much easier to succeed! Of those to whom much is given, much is required. You know what you need, so be attentive to your feelings. No matter how grand the design, everything proceeds by small steps - watch them and don’t become obsessed with what lies outside your reach."


Do not fear the dark, embrace it

"Integrate yourself. Introduce the liar within you to the truth-teller. Make friends with the cheat. Bring the sponger into the light. Do not fear the dark, embrace it. You cannot achieve anything until all parts of yourself are of one mind - then comes a fusion of light, energy and love.
"That is your work, not dashing around on a white charger. It is simple, unglamorous ... and lasting. Heroes come, the focus of all eyes: they have their hour and are gone, leaving the debris for others to clear up. But this is not how I see or desire humans to be. I see the disregarded old person who showed love to hir small circle as infinitely more valuable. I see and cherish all those who are invisible to the world’s false value-systems. You will be very surprised when you enter fully into the spirit world and experience the atmosphere of delight, truthfulness & liberation from public posturing.
"Spend time thinking about this, and how you can spread simplicity and joy into everyone’s life."


When it's time, you'll know

"You may feel ready to rise and go but if circumstances don’t allow you must bide your time. The harbour master will only allow ships to leave when tide and wind are favourable. Premature departure would bring disaster.
"You have a natural propensity for action. But the busyness of action drowns the focus of your inner flow. Don’t hurry and scurry: dredge out and deepen your channels. Rejoice, be still, this is your training preparation."


Feeling not ok IS ok

"It’s perfectly alright not to feel okay. It’s just another way of feeling. If you don’t allow yourself to feel bad, it’s quite likely you won't allow yourself to feel good either. Your feelings are your best guide to reality.
"Everything in life is fluid, and your feelings are far better detectors of change than your intellect. If you’re really in touch with your feelings you’re far less likely to be sandbagged by events or other people’s fickleness.
Forgive yourself for not being perfect.
Allow yourself to fail.
Losing a battle is often winning a war.
Every servant of the light knows these problems. If the period of training were not long and hard people would graduate with unresolved (flawed) psyches that could heal /whole noone. Just let love rule, and do not question. There are answers but they’d only throw you further off balance if you found them now."

> Taken in conjunction with the post dated 8/2/93 this leads to an interesting question: what is the source of the wisdom that is made available to us in this way? I believe the answer is twofold – & it is summed up in the phrase 'what is truly within us is truly without us.' What we think of as being most authentically (& intimately) personal to our own mind is in fact our point of greatest openness to the great Mind in which we all participate & which some people call God/dess. We are unaware that when we present our clothed & painted public face (ego) to other humans our naked arse (unconscious) is fully visible in a mirror – & that nakedness is our god-ward aspect – so all the time we spend prinking & perming our public face is wasted, since it means nothing to our participation in 'God' & is in any case irrelevant to anyone whose perception goes beyond a purely physical /external level.
> So I think we are all carriers of the great wisdom that manifests throu dreams & synchronicities, but that it enters the world with the unique flavour of the personality who brings it. This I understand as the Orpheus myth – music is a divine gift, and once it's arrived it doesn't really matter who brought it, BUT it depends on specific individuals in order TO arrive. But the message is 'be authentic' - pay attention to your own inner process, let that speak, so that your
own mind learns to synchronise with the great Mind.


At the end of my tether

Dear God. Yes, I must speak now and be heard. I have followed what I have been shown as faithfully as I know (yes, I know that’s not very faithfully) and now I have come to a full stop. The problem is we’ve lumbered to the end of the runway and the big bird is still on the ground. I haven’t got the energy to turn round and do it all over again - and why should it be more successful the 2nd time?
I want to evaporate, to disintegrate, disappear, vanish – be reconstituted on a different plane. But yet, here I am and here is everything else. I want it to change, to be fun, to be light & bright, to be spring, in love with the world and the world in love with me.

See the response

> What do I feel now, in 2006, about this heartfelt cry? I had set myself on a path towards transformation because I needed to know my self, and to manifest my inward reality in the world – which is, I think, the artistic impulse. Of course we'd all like to say 'fiat lux' and see instant illumination reflected on every face, and if I could've done that I'm sure I would have. But I couldn't, and so I have had to follow the longer darker path.
> I've written elsewhere about the sense of
dharma I acquired when I reached 'years of discretion' and first became conscious of my creative impulse/s. My vision was so much as odds with others around me that it seemed as if 'the time was out of joint, oh cursèd spite /that I was born to set it right' РI felt an obligation to work towards a vision of
music and of society that seemed to me the way things should be, and not to accept the way they are. I haven't always done this, of course, there have been detours – and the supreme irony is that the only time I really ever made any money was when I was 'writing other people's music' as a drama composer rather than my 'own'.
> While it was all happening in 1993, i
t was very hard to accept that following my 'path' (which I really thought I was) should lead right into the middle of a swamp from which there was no apparent exit. Yet I see now the profound transformation I experienced -the experience that the universe is not a morally-neutral environment, that there is a force which responds to & ampilifies good intentions (to put it no higher)- could not have manifested in my life without this 'testing in the furnace of humiliation'. For after the shit was kicked out of me I began to see quite differently. It was brutal and relatively quick, because that, in fact, was what I'd set myself up for. Afterwards there was still a lot more to be squeezed out (like getting all the air out of an airbed!) which goes on to this day — but the real reward is to begin to experience the reality, the shit-less seeing if you like!, that I sought.
> And what other purpose could there be to life than to learn to see 'reality', to understand that the so-called Real World is only a manifestation of a mind-set, and that if you subscribe to an alternative mind-set you can begin to manifest that instead. The process of shit kicking simply helps you to get a better perspective on what really matters. Insh'allah.


Trust & Be

"What great joy!
The Bible refers to the time of Mary’s purification. Any ritual is not just for the individual’s benefit, it is for a whole community. You may think you’ve learnt some lesson, but it may be part of the wholing process that you have to be the means of others learning it too - and that may involve sacrifice. If you can surrender your will you’ll bring great grace and purification into your life. Above all, if you have experienced trust you must trust now. Trust & Be."

> From 14 years later I can still remember the intense anguish of this period – running a publishing company, not to mention family life, with no reserves at all. It really felt like being squeezed till every fibre of my body was alive with pain. And yet the memory of that feeling of aliveness is one that I cherish and have carried with me ever since. Thus are gifts contained in the most unlikely circumstances.



"Be patient. Energy focused into passionate waiting has a unique power. You do not cease to desire, but by accepting the divine timetable you ensure that when the longed for moment arrives it will be not only right but lasting. Otherwise, while you may be able to grab at something by the exercise of spiritual power a lack of fundamental alignment may lead to its withdrawal as other forces act upon both it and your life.
"Don’t envy anything of anyonelse’s. You have no idea how long they have it for. You don’t know the inner dynamic that brought the person and that particular thing together. Concentrate on your own.
"Be. Allow. A step at a time!"