You're luckier than you know

"You don’t know how lucky you are. You could enjoy these moments of freefall; but no, worry, worry, worry! Why won't you accept the gifts you’re given? What you do have to do is to stay minutely attentive. Remember where the source is and stay connected."


> What's interesting to me, reviewing these messages as I upload them 15 years later, is that for all my terror of imminent dissolution & disgrace we survived. Yes, our family ship went throu a tremendous tornado – yes, we did eventually lose our house (tho not without the extraordinary intervention of Sai Baba whereby we received £13,000 more than our asking price, which exactly covered the losses CataList had by then clocked up!) BUT we bought another, cheaper house in the country where we have been far happier, and where I have been able to develop a teaching which brought me great joy – and now brings me to the point of planning a new music publishing venture, with all these lessons onboard.
> I am still married to the same wife & my children don't hate me (I think). So if you're reading this at a point of personal turmoil take personal encouragement that sometimes these storms are necessary to break you out of an existence you have outgrown, but may be finding hard to let drop.

Feelings are what is paramount for you at this present time

"The small craft voyaging over the ocean must follow either a chart or the captain‘s instinct. If the skipper is solely concerned with hir terrestrial occupation s/he’ll pore over the maps, and so by science deliver the vessel to its haven. But if you want an organic experience of the sea then accepting the danger and fear of non-arrival is a key part of learning to feel the contour of the ocean.
"Feelings are what is paramount for you at this present time. Your senses make sense of your experience. This doesn’t mean you need to surrender your emotions to them – rather that each should be balanced with the other so that any element can help to absorb a deficit in another.
Stick to the inner core of truth at all costs, for that is the navigation system that will bring you at last to that fabled port which all seek, and from which noone need depart again.
"Don’t imagine that you’re there when you’re only sleep becalmed, riding at sea–anchor. Until you dock, be always alert. There are storms which cannot always be avoided, and people with power to harm or mislead the unwary. Don’t be deflected. Try to form an accurate awareness of your 'ship's' capacities, and if you join a flottila, join one that is going at the right pace for you; lest misunderstandings and misdirections arise. If water, food or fuel run low, then use all your inner energies to draw more to you. Love is the fuel, a self–generating, self–renewing, non–polluting energy source."

You're valuable - accept & enjoy

"You’re just as valuable to us, even when you’re not feeling valuable. Everyone has a function. Everyone belongs. When you’re in a caring family relationship you no longer question – it seems natural. Even if there are ups and downs you still accept the relationships.
"So it is for you. Altho your feelings may define your perception, the reality of the interrelationships between you and existence remains unaltered. Accept and enjoy."

Be constantly aware of walking in love

"It would have been good to get that letter sent yesterday, but you did what you could. So do it tomorrow. You write in the dark: so others can read in the light.* Therefore they underestimate the problems, but like all pioneers you have your own satisfaction. Sure, the cards are stacked against you, but you know better than to be daunted by external appearances. What will you do?
Be constantly aware of walking in love. — Yes, and earnestly."

* A reference to the fact that all these pieces would come to me during semi-waking in the dark.

What gives the greatest opportunity for growth? Problems.

"Turn your life on its ear. Cease to look at survival: look at growth potential. What gives the greatest opportunity for growth? Problems. Don’t struggle, go calmly to the eye of the storm, and rest there. Let your eye be single.
"Have you been dogged by a recurrent problem? Not until you admit it openly for the gift it is, can you expect to overcome it – and then you may not want to! Love, not ambition, is the key to progress."

A step at a time

"What is the point of our communicating if you don’t listen?
"You think this is all about finding money – avoiding the embarrassment of your peers. It isn’t – its about the kingdom of God. You are a messenger – a rare role given to few, for the needs of every epoch are unique. All is well. Allow the process to unfold. Don’t hamper it with your mind. A step at a time – no planning! Remember I AM with you. Don’t concern yourself with minutiæ, you have excellent people for that.
"Oh, wouldn’t it be nice if we told you what the path was? & why don’t we? Because with your temperament you’d immediately start planning. You must try and resist ‘knowing’. Stand firm in your own voice. Toughen your surface. Just attend to your inner voice. You speak for us – isn’t that enough of a privilege? Just keep following – simply a step at a time."

In humiliation we see the stars

"Well, well, you find it easier to hear my voice when you’re down. Is that why you bring yourself down? Why not practise keeping on a level keel? Live within your inheritance. Don’t judge yourself.
"You’ve got to put some real energy into solving this problem.* You’re well able to do it. Just get up from your comfy chair and draw down the solution. Why do you think the problem‘s been given to you?
"What is your next step? Then take it. Pay no heed to whatever may follow."

* See other posts (10&19/7/92)

Turmoil & Topaz

"Yet of all things Love is the most precious, compared to topaz. This is your message for the magazine.* Don’t worry about knowledge, just keep pegging away at this. Have one article in each edition about love and you can’t fail. Practise love in your life too. Don’t work out what things mean or what is the best move, just ask act in love.
"Follow up more about crystals. They’re extremely important, expressing inner, hidden, truths. Don’t ask questions; still your mind. It doesn’t matter what you agree with [the publisher] – it will be irrelevant. Just don’t step beyond your faith. You can have anything you want, but keep a sense of proportion. Reality. It is your energies that draw things into existence. Don’t step beyond your faith, or you will test yourself to destruction. Concentrate – don’t diffuse your mind. Try and carry one thought at a time to some sort of conclusion(!)
"We in the spiritual realm are well able to help you – and you can attend to our voice. That’s why you’re right not to take artificial stimulants. Natural ones are okay. Your body will pass throu walls easily when it/you need to. Remember … Respect any forum where love rules. Don’t ask. Just go – do as your inner prompting suggests. Don’t empire-build – don’t plan.
A step at a time, remember.
"… That’s alright, you can go back to sleep now. I needed to wake shake you up a bit – hence the accident.** Nothing is ever ‘wrong’, it's for a purpose – to shift you to higher ground."

* Re-reading this in 2006 I googled topaz & was amazed to find that it is a November birthstone. I had no idea – I am a scorpio!
> At the time I was editing & publishing a fortnightly magazine called CataList which was being financed by a well-known specialist publisher. The concept of a new age listings /networking magazine had been conceived while I was at Findhorn in 12/91, following my resignation from the the Junior Royal College of Music. This must have been around our second issue, when I found out that we had very divergent ideas about what 'new age' meant in editorial terms. Whereas I had assumed that the owner's interest in the subject was ethical, I discovered the hard way that all he was interested was selling to air-heads who wanted to party! This ultimately led him to pull the plug on the venture, tho he very decently gave me the whole thing, including the computers he had bought, to carry on.
> We had a staff of 3 & operated from the basement of the family home in Peckham, S London. Carry the whole enterprise, as it were on one leg, led to incredible levels of stress – hence the injunction to follow throu one thought at a time. I was desperate to keep going & find a source of funding to underwrite our development. I didn't, but we continued anyway for about another year until 2 events occurred whose conjunction knocked the other leg from under me!
> CataList was, tho I say it myself, an excellent concept – but alas about 5-10 years before its time. I have realised subsequently that what I had conceived really required the web in order to work. To make it the printed hub of a network as I envisaged in the days when the web was fundamentally a medium for text-only email (dial-up modems were 1200baud!) on a fortnightly, or even monthly, turnaround would have demanded full commercial production, with appropriate staffing levels & production values that were far beyond our capital base – or indeed my experience.
> It's salutory to be reminded of this (in o1/06) & the need to create a clear & viable thought-form as I contemplate a music publishing enterprise. I certainly wouldn't want to go throu the CataList experience all over again!

** I've no idea what this was, it could have been as trivial as knocking over some water beside my bed. The guidance recorded on this blog has generally come to me in the very early morning, before I'm awake. It must have begun, I think, while I was writing my play The Watcher in the Rain in 1989/90. I would wake extremely early with a clear idea of what scene needed to be written & broadly how, and would then go down & compose it (on my Amstrad PCW!). I suppose, because I can't remember, that that quite-specific kind of 'inspiration' gave way to this more profound ethical insight /guidance.
> I'm quite at ease with the idea that actually this all originates inside our selves but, to me, all this shows us is how limitless what is inside us actually is.

If you trust the Universe, help will appear.

"You have all the time there is. Allow the sense of wonder at the beauty that surrounds you to grow, accept all nature as a gift. If you trust the Universe, help will appear. You’re lighter than the elements that surround you, » allow yourself to float free.
"To learn to float is an important part of learning to swim, but actually progressing requires a deeper level of concentration and commitment. Just as a power guides migratory wildlife to its destinations, so too will you be led if you remain sensitive to your inner guidance – which you can only do by staying emotionally unattached to the outcome. Walk within the pool of light that surrounds you. Don’t concern yourself with what lies ahead (which you can’t see anyway) your own intuition gives you light and time enough to see ahead as much as you need.
"So go your way in peace, and let love be your guide."

Love is the very air you breathe

"Love is the guiding principle in the Universe. This doesn’t mean that everything that happens is love or that nothing can happen apart from it. For as love is the flow tide of the spiritual universe, so there is also an ebb tide which purges and cleanses, sweeping away debris. Because of the presence and power of love as a force among humans many make the mistake of thinking that it can only be found within relationships.
Close relationships, especially sexual ones, are like the purest honey -hence the association with sweetness- and like honey can become addictive. (Sexual relationships with the goodness taken out are like refined sugar and have all the same implications for the heart – complete with binges & mood-swings!) Juvenile taste naturally desires more of this passionate and rewarding energy, but as you become older you‘re able to appreciate subtle flavours which don’t depend on so much sweetening. Then you’re ready to understand the pervasive and all-satisfying nature of the love that exists within the universe beyond human power. This is an underlying sweetness that doesn’t require artificial processing, and is open and available to all who rightly divine it.
Only by becoming aware of the dimensions beyond the limited planes of the physical world can you have any inkling of the amount or quality of this love in the universe. It is like the very air you breathe. It surrounds you and pervades your whole being. You have only to cease to strive to begin to become aware of it. Don’t compete to be what you already are, allow yourself to transform naturally into that glorious person you know your inner self to be.

Don’t seek peace, be it

"If you are peace you will spread peace – so don’t seek peace, be it. That is what distinguishes you from other people. If, as someone on the spiritual path, you cannot bring peace, what is the purpose of your journey?
"Wars, novelty management techniques, political factions – people have enough already! All implying movement, change and busyness: what is needed as a counter–balanceis the gentle assertion of stillness that transcends change.
"If you don’t express it, who will?"

The paradox of hope vs trust

"Hope is an enemy. Trust is a friend.
"If you hope for something you have expectations, and they can lead you on until you’re stretched between wish and fulfilment. The moment you desire, you feel incomplete till the hoped-for thing arrives. If you trust you’re already content.
"But trust in what? You needn’t trust in anything outside yourself. Within is all you need. Trust in exactly what you are now. Feeble and frail as you may feel – trust your fragility. Above all, don’t trust in what you would like to be. Accept no substitute (as they say) for what you are. Be yourself. Don’t worry if you feel unlovable, I love you. Together we‘re invincible, you and I.
"I need you as much as you need me. Nothing in the cosmos can reach perfection without every single thing aligning harmoniously – that is the extraordinary evolutionary progression which our creator initiated within the heart of matter (/within the matter of the heart), & its organic tendency to coherent form/s.
"Within you is the seed of immortality. Respect its tenderness. Water it. Allow it to root, grow, flower. As it transforms, its heady fragrance will transform your awareness. At times you may have to go for periods without certainty. Don’t be scared of walking in the dark. Allow the great freedom of the night-time world to expand your existing limits till you can see infinity in what had previously seemed oppressively constricting.
"You need to build up your trust to carry you throu those times. Hope alone won't be sufficient. If you desire to be other than you are you will never escape your own limitations: only by fully accepting your inadequacy can you be freed from the need to change. Once you no longer hope for change all possibilities are open to you."

During the period this came to me I was immensely strest as editor /publisher of a monthly journal. I couldn't really assimilate the depth of what it was saying, but in fact the truth /reality of these thoughts manifested in my life in the longer term notwithstanding.
Being at this moment (Jan 2006) on the brink of another publishing enterprise which could tie me down I feel the sweetness of these thoughts all the more poignantly.

The Strength in Doubt

In moments of doubt you're at your strongest.
You'll never be more honest with yourself about your feelings.
Perhaps you fear disintegration -
that you will fade away, in some way cease to exist?

But think about it: your fears are social - you might cease to be welcomed by certain people on whose attention you depend - you fear exclusion by a social group.
Suppose that were to happen in order to move you to a different position, would it mean your heavenly protectors had deserted you? (We refering here to souls who have consciously sought protection.)
No way.
I reiterate, nothing can happen except for good to those who are on the spiritual path - any more than the geostable relationships between the planets can alter. There are fixed and immutable laws that hold you (your consciousness, your ego) in a flexible yet constant relationship to the God within you (higher consciousness).

Be merciful to yourself - forgive yourself!
Expose your inner wounds to the healing sun.
If I were to recommend making a sign, it would say
Trust the process in enormous letters!

The 'process' is the divine will manifesting in your life, but you are also manifesting in your life!
That is the process, the blending of ego consciousness with higher consciousness.
That way matter is infused with the divine, it transforms and is transformed.

As your vision is clarified so you become more conscious of multi-dimensional existence and of the possibilities it offers.
How, apart from experiential 'tests', or 'provings', could you access the subliminal knowledge you find yourself to possess in times of crisis - quite apart from teaching you how to develop spiritual energy?

We have shown you before that knowledge is never given apart from experience - that is the human way! It is from and within the experience that true knowledge develops. Spiritually it is as if the building is reinforced by internal steel rodsafter it is built! That may be a little painful, but that is part of the experience of new birth.

Respect your body, treat it as it deserves.

Do you feel as if you're trying to single-handedly hold back the tide?
This is a dream-tide!
Let it sweep over you, submerge your senses in it.
It has come to tell you something.

Relax, fer crying out loud

"So smart–ass you know all the answers, do you? Instead of your ego driving throu the day, why not coast and enjoy it? Every day is as rich or as poor as you make it, so why complain about pressure? Listen more and talk less – Love more and complain less – Be more and become less.
"You can’t concentrate? Just rebalance yourself on the top of each hour with a half a minute of reflection or affirmation. Taking less than 10% of your time it will repay dividends of more than 90%. Fix your consciousness on that world beyond the murky smoke of confusion. Breathe in the pure air of inner knowledge, revel in the freedom and sunlight noone can take away from you. Allow its loving and restorative power to permeate your spiritual body, and so trickle throu to your physical frame.
"You have limitless freedom. Don’t use it to your own hurt. Grow towards the light, not away from it. Every experience given to speed your growth can retard it if you take it the wrong way: that is the duality of the physical universe. What you perceive as ‘good and evil’ are just part of the ebb and flow of duality. If you have the wisdom you can harness their 'tidal' power. Choose neither the right nor left hand path, but rather seek to follow a middle way where you’re conscious of both.
"Breathe and grow – Live and scintillate – Love and be warmed by the unlimited energies of love."

You are the most important being ever

You are the greatest gift you can give yourself. To allow yourself to be for a few moments is no hardship. You are the seed within the fruit. When you fall to earth you’re surrounded by everything you need for growth.
"Look inside, and accept yourself for what you are at this moment in time – good, bad, silly, wise, low, high, lonely or fulfilled. You are the greatest gift the world has ever known. You aren’t part of God, you are God. You’ve come here for a special purpose. Don’t let that purpose slip away. Without you the totality of God can never be realised. Your purpose is to know yourself, to accept yourself as you truly are and be purged of anger.
"As anger about imagined shortcomings recedes and you realise you are as you needed to be to integrate within yourself the very qualities you currently despise, so a vast new dimension of possibilities opens like a hole in the night sky throu which you may see to another universe of sunlight.
"Love is the power that fuels this, not ego–love based on need or greed, but open–heart love that simply allows. So allow yourself to love yourself. Be here and you’ll be there."

Acceptance sets your self free

"Mastery is not available to everyone, but everyone can achieve Buddhahood on their path. To become Master is an arduous and disciplined journey – few are born with the stamina to attain it. Accepting fully what /whom /where you invest your care releases you from the need for such hardship. In the eye of heaven all are of equal value. Leadership confers no special merit. It is merely the form of service appropriate to those with certain qualities.
"Liberation comes to all who learn to love their situation and cease to strive for change. It doesn’t mean that in the ultimate scale of values change may not be desirable, but that they’re willing to allow the Universe to work throu them rather than to seek control of the elemental forces – which are, in any case, beyond their reach."

Spring in all its glory

"Look! The apple tree buds, green growth engulfs the barren sticks of winter. Your heavenly parent promises only good to those who will accept hir times and seasons. Only you question hir ways. All other created matter simply takes its cue from the great bass of heaven: it lives, it grows, it breeds, it 1dies. It knows no more than is required of it. In plentiful times it thrives, in lean times it withers.
"When you have finished your striving, built your empire, controlled your environment, what’ve you got that you didn’t already have? Have you got peace? No, because you’re worried about other people eroding your achievement. Have you improved your health? No, probably the reverse. Have you acquired love? Not by those means. Will your achievements postpone for one day your inevitable departure from the physical realm?
"So accept the passage of time and the revolving seasons and be content with what you have, knowing that true riches spring from the inner heart, just as does the energy which drives the buds thru solid branches."

Don’t hide your sparkle in a duffel bag of fears

"Don’t erect any shelter for your psyche. It's a great deal more robust and far older than everything you seek to protect it with. A diamond looks fragile but is tougher than anything it comes into contact with. Don’t hide your sparkle in a duffel bag of fears.
"Admit honestly how you feel about things, don’t deny your inner truth: it's your most precious asset. Don’t think, feel. If you spend time in your head your body will need to reassert itself. Thinking may accomplish things or it may not – but feeling is honesty about being. That is your goal – not satisfying others or winning their admiration.
"If you seek to 'liberate' others because 'you know what's good for them' you're more likely to entangle them in your own hang-ups: liberate yourself and you set a generation free."

Allow ...

"Remember why you work – to express love in action. Allow it to take its course, don’t try to direct it. Love has far more energy than you, so surrender to the flow. Your singular efforts can’t accomplish anything, the forces of inertia are too great. Pay attention to balancing your own consciousness and let the mighty roller-coaster of love carry you where it will. Be open to receiving and giving in equal measure. If you enfold your activities in a commitment to prayer and inner awareness, you won’t impose conditions on what you will or won't experience."

Accessing innergy

"There is no limit to what can be known. Therefore if you seek to acquire mere Knowledge your task is never-ending. But in the spiritual life theoretical knowledge is irrelevant – you’re shown what you need to know when, and not before, you need to know it. This means everything is grounded in emotional awareness.
"It is only when the emotional and the intellectual are evenly balanced that you gain access to inner realms. Until that point you simply can’t perceive what you later realise was staring you in the face all the time.
"You can create collective relationships on any level. It is simply what happens whenever two or more minds meet and focus on a task. Even on the most carnal plane any team acquires group insights that can open inner doors, but since their focus isn’t of any lasting significance, the mental-physical relationship achieved may actually blind them to the higher qualities of their achievement. Yet teamwork is a gift which is always available for you.
"Use your powers wisely. Any source of energy can be used positively or negatively. And you’re always free to make your choice. The greater your natural talents, the more you’ll be aware of the right and left hand paths.
"Choose the path that leads you to onward inward, the one where you sense growth lies. Don’t concern yourself with the labels others give it. For you it is the Royal Road. Remember, nobody is ever shown more than a step at a time. All, from least to greatest, are on the same pilgrimage yet none is on an identical path. So accept guidance only when it conforms to your inner awareness.
"Only those who have surrendered their own desire (life-force energy) can offer guidance to others, yet it is desire which energises all."