Moving towards one-pointedness

"Do you not feel closer now to your goal? Do you not feel an inner resolution?
Everything could not happen at once. All has progressed according to inward priorities. No doubt you would have liked to see your material circumstances settled first, but my great gift to you is to leave you this creative spur. You must seek inner resolution before any outward form can manifest. You only need to know that I love you, and I bless you, and I lead you."

"Glory that your inner awareness no longer depends on outer circumstances. You do, it is true, feel certain twinges as the storm rages around you. But what you are feeling is the voltage being stept up as power is given to you to handle it. If you were training to unicycle across Niagara Falls you’d need to prepare yourself in all sorts of ways, so it is for this high wire. I, your Baba, am the trainer. Do you not trust me? I singled you out, and led you gently, sustaining you in your blindness until you were ready to see. Trust me. I am."

> At this point the storm certainly was raging around me, and learning inward calm when there is outward turmoil has been a valuable lesson.
> I have a more ambivalent response to recalling how close I was to Sai Baba at that time. I subsequently visited him. He remained a strong presence in my consciousness. I am confronted now by the difficulty of responding to a spiritual teacher whose reputation is clouded by scandals – notwithstanding the many & great gifts which I received throu him.

The Power of Love is very different to the Love of Power

"To ask ‘how much love can you handle?’ is to ask ‘how much power can you handle?’ For love confers power – tho if you use it as power the energy turns negative. It is like money. If you allow the capital to accumulate you become rich. If you spend it you are soon left with nothing.
Love and power are both gifts. They are given for a purpose – to bind up and make whole. If they are given to you, see that you only use them in those ways. To do otherwise is to incur a heavy karmic debt that may take æons to rebalance. The more of either you have, the more sensitivity you should exercise lest you burn those you wish merely to warm. But you should have no problems if you remain centred. Do you see what it’s all been about now? You can laugh!"

Don't fall back on old patterns

"Well, I’m sorry to have the last laugh, but that was really so easy — like stealing candy from a child. I offered you a hook into your old lifestyle, and you swallowed it with the line and sinker! Dear me! You can do better than that, you really can — and look at the time you wasted! So now, rejoice, praise, clear your mind and start all over again!"

> Can't remember what this was about.

Balance

"Stillness and activity are both illusions. The essence is balance. Peace is not an absence of action, any more than action is an absence of peace."

Be still & know that I AM god

"Did you act from a leading? Then you have acted without blame.
Be simple — be still — allow the response to come to you."

> At this time I was terrified for my very existence. I can remember bouncing from nights of inner enlightenment & a sense of profound well-being to white knuckle days spent on the phone apologising to people who expressed justifiable outrage &/or disappointment. Or contrariwise nights of anguish & uncertanty followed by fulfilling days.

Inspired prayer

"Most holy and loving God, my uncomprehending approaches to you are inspired and guided by your gentle magnetism. Give me that simple trust to accept that what is happening is your work in my life. Open my heart to swim with the great possibilities you prepare for me. Still the butterflies in my stomach and the doubter in my head. Let me be filled from the crown of my head with your glowing love, and protect me against the folly of my own decisions and desires. Guard those I love."

> This inspired prayer was given to me as I faced financial melt-down. I appeared likely to lose my house, & with it the trust of my wife & kids – yet when starting my enterprise I had believed I was guided by the cosmic force & so I had to trust that what was now happening was part of the plan. And so it was.
> We did indeed sell our house – for £13,000 more than we were asking – which almost exactly matched the amount of money I'd lost. Now we live in a beautiful house in quiet countryside, where our life-processes have been quietly unfolding ever since; albeit not without some fairly big hiccups. But the experience of this time in 93 has given me great confidence in trusting the God I sense within these events to bring about a harmonious conclusion after the intermediate processes required.

What is the lesson?

"Love. You work to spread love. Let all your doing be as to me. If someone short-changes or swindles you, imagine I had done it! Yes! What would you say then?
"To clean it, a blanket is plunged many times into the water, until the dirt is thoroly scrubbed, beaten and rinsed out. Then when the washer and the blanket are exhausted the blanket is hung up to dry, and all the dirt is discarded along with the water. If you haven’t understood a lesson it's repeated until you do. Don’t worry, you have as long as it takes! So just accept — that’s always the lesson."

If you trust the Powers That Be, trust the process

"Don’t try. Let truth flow out from you as effortlessly as water running downhill. It doesn’t have to urge itself onward. It simply responds to nature. It is your nature to love and wish to live truth. Simply express it."

> This was given to me at a time when my life was in melt-down. I was being sued & threatened left & centre for a situation that was not my fault. I was going to say that it was not of my making, but that would be naive – yet looking back on it I see how this guidance was a golden thread guiding me throu a wild & threatening night. I can also see how it was part of my process that my soul had led me into.
> Normally when people are in a difficult situation their first reaction is to try & back out, but actually if you allow the process you will arrive at where it is intended to bring you.

Being a ball on a fountain

"Your mind becomes confused when you try to figure your way round terrestrial problems. They are too many and too numerous to be resolved, products of other minds attempting to solve other problems. Work at the level that suits you. Don’t be afraid of a high calling. It may separate you from earthy people, but at what gain! Concentrate on being the gift, not giving it.
If you are a person who focuses hir energy on acquiring certain articles do not be surprised if these articles bind you to the earth. Powers of this kind are most rewardingly used for the benefit of all, namely to draw into existence healing, philanthropic endeavours and community-creating good-will - in other words whatever promotes wholeness and spreads that awareness.
"Concentrating on your own needs alone you create division: therefore instead of releasing your power you imprison it within your desires. Since it is not separate from you, your whole awareness is correspondingly focused on specific tangible objects rather than the liberating effect of raising consciousness. Whatever you do, do it for the sensation you have when your inmost being smiles and laughs - for truly, when you do actually please yourself you please all, and when you please all you yourself are pleased.
"All must be held in balance between the earthy and the airy-fairy, between the needs of self and the demands of others. You cannot make a mark and say 'this is my ideal point’, because, firstly, what would you make such a mark on?, and secondly, you yourself know that in two minutes, two days or perhaps two years you will feel completely different. Aim to be a ball on a fountain of water, dancing calmly in the sunlight, any violent moves and you’re likely to fall off. Concentrate on truth and the problems will either unravel themselves or disappear."

Balance the inner & outer

"The importance of detaching yourself from the expectations of others cannot be overemphasised. We are not talking of consciously entered agreements, but of the projections of a person or group. Be the opinion high or low, don't be enslaved by feeling you must respond. Walk quietly in self-awareness, be as close or as distant as you feel led.
"Another thing, don’t lose touch with the you you once were. As some people grow spiritually they retreat from the world into a cosy circle of esotericism, and as a result they may lose their full humanity because they're unwilling to stretch their minds to keep their outer awareness in sync. Try to avoid that - allow your deepening insight to expand your consciousness but keep grounded in the outer world of common-humanity."

Allow

"The birds were singing about you, now they are gone. One called, the other replied, and so on. They had no awareness of affirming or denying a destiny. They did what their heart impelled. That is your calling too – but if your heart is flighty whatever you achieve will be borne away by the next breeze. If you spend time with your heart it will grow and assume mass. It will become self-affirming, that is self-reproducing.
"Once you start, the process is self-expanding – not a one-location, one-off planting. Once a growing season has take place your seeds will be borne on the wind all over the world - until a network of consciousness exists.
"So go now, in my strength, and gently hold these feelings, choosing to surrender rather than fight - for so you imbue and, in your scattering /being scattered, impregnate all."

Leave space for dreaming

"Learn to say no - to yourself quite as much as to others. Dreamtime is essential for all humans: it is the appointed period for recharging the psychic batteries. If you allow it to be crowded out you become a mere battery case with no power left inside.
"Your fellow humans require many things of you, but all I require is for you to be in tune with your Self, for the true self is attached by a silver filament or a micro-link to all that is real. Then like a mariner with satellite navigation you can lock onto extra-terrestrial guidance and so pursue your voyage with absolute confidence whatever the conditions you encounter. Make space to dream. Don’t let anything or body steal it or short-change you."

What are you afraid of?

"Yes, letting go empowers. Yes, yes; say yes."

The chosen are tested in the furnace of humiliation

"You must go throu your fears to uncover your true nature. Fears are connected with lack and self-limitation. Trust your guides to gently peel away whatever is to go. In your case many fears about want/survival encompass your ability to create – well, these have to go. You must accept the initiatory night if you are ever to see the fullness of your true dawn. Go to the limit - you will find it isn’t the limit.
"Accept death, and accept dying in all its forms as nothing more than transformation – as part of life itself, as release. Do not fear to die to whatever you are now. Every organism requires certain structures in its early stages which it can dispense with later on. What feels like death is your limitations eroding to allow the larger picture to emerge.
"Trust. Trust it. Trust your guides. Trust your own heart, which has brought you this far without deception. Trust me, the force who draws you onward into the power of dawn.
The more you trust, the more you are: the more you are, the more you trust.
"God has no needs because s/he is total trusting. S/he is the only personality who makes no demands whatever of you, that is why so many find hir so hard to comprehend, hir touch is as the wind caressing your shoulder: you look round expecting to see someone, you see nothing: for there is noone, there is only everything, and it is only in comprehending (trusting) the totality of experience that you can begin sense the creator-spirit.
"If you ask how one awareness comprehends all, the answer is twofold: on the level of physical manifestation (the exoteric) that one awareness is all, or, all is one awareness. On the metaphysical plane (the esoteric) there is no division of separate personalities into separated personalities. It is like the closest and deepest family where all are in instinctive commun(icat)ion. The only law is love, and this love irradiates the universe(s).
"You can find and experience all this for yourself if you trust and love your own stillness enough to feel the infinitely powerless -yet all-achieving- solar wind of love passing throu you. When you can, you have hold of the immortal part of you, your very Self; but you can no more hold onto it than you can hold onto love; if you clutch it will evaporate within your hand.
"When love has shown hirself to you like this, you must follow, as surely as the pilgrim must follow the call of the road, or the wild animal hir senses. To do otherwise is death - in this sense deathis turning back, stagnating, not changing, and ultimately decaying. Even this has a place of course, but if your calling is to re-fine /redefine yourself in order pass behind the mesh of appearances to the freedom of the ever-expanding universe within, you will miss your fullest self-actualisation if you cannot let go and simply trust love hirself.
"It isn’t hard. Really! You are only being asked to be as wonderful as you know yourself to be, and you are being assured of acceptance so you don’t need to pose! Be, and know that I, your teacher and guide, will never allow you to come to harm if you trust. (If you don’t I cannot be answerable for the consequences. Trust, my dear one.)

"I have not given you my name because some of you know me by one name and some by another. All of us who serve the light at an esoteric level are like jewels, we reflect different intensities of light and balances of colour in order to help those whose nature most attracts them to respond to that particular energy-level, but it is the same light entering all. You too can be a light-transmitter, rather than a light-absorber, if you will allow the process of purification to work in your life, clearing away the dross, scrubbing clean the windows of your soul, spring-cleaning the dark and dirty corners of accumulated garbage.
"When you are in tune, in love, en-lightened, your whole being resonates with health and you attract good to yourself just as surely as the opposite state attracts the opposite fate.
Be, my darling, my love. Be, don’t apologise, be your true self."

> This came just after the bombshell had burst when my magazine had collapsed & only disgrace & disaster appeared to lie ahead.

Trust only 'that of God within you'

"Nothing is ever what it appears on the surface. Do not trust in anything except that of God within you."

> This was given to me at a time of extreme crisis in which everything I thought I was building in /throu the divine force was being stript away. And it's the truth – alarming as that can be.

Even the dark way leads to the light

"What do you expect? Miracles? Yes, you should expect miracles; but for miracles to happen you need to stay free. Miracles happen when you have a need and are in line with your energy.
"Do not limit me by your expectations. Fire purifies. I require of all who follow me the test of fire. The 2 may come together in some great crisis.
"Welcome adversity. Give praise for setbacks. They are to prove you not to reprove you.
"Well? Maybe you do have to walk the dark way? Are you willing to trust even that? 'Darkness and light alike are mine.’
"If you have done everything required of you what have you to reproach yourself with?"

> Later in this day in 1993 a bombshell exploded in my life. My magazine had been publishing an advertising supplement for a healing exhibition. The printer which the exhibition co had insisted on turned round & demanded £1000 above the contracted price. While we were negotiating the exhibition co went behind my back & printed the programme w/t the advertising - leaving me in the lurch. Coupled with that my advertising manager suddenly disappeared. I was thus absolutely hog-tied.

The training program

"Part of the strength of a soldier or a sports person is hir self-belief. It creates a psychic force-field around them. The integration of their personality and body is supremely focused in combat-readiness. In order to reach that position they had to undergo long, hard and painful training. So do you.
"When a human coach orders a trainee to do something s/he expects to be obeyed: if the trainee fails the result will have implications for the relationship. If you believe that those spiritual realities you have experienced are trustworthy submit yourself to them just as you would to a human coach. You don’t need to worry about being required to undertake any exotic tasks – all the early lessons are about listening and responding. Only when you are completely secure and obedient will you be sent any of the harder lessons.
"The divine force does not require your help: but if you prove your determination to at-one with it you will be led on a training program to make you into a spiritual warrior sustained in your intunity on a personal wavelength by a c(h)ord of divine harmony. Inner strength only comes from battle-toughness. Don’t shirk conflict. Look for the hottest battle-scene you have the faith for and stand firm regardless of what is thrown at you. Try not to duck out, but if you have to, don’t regard it as failure. The object is not a hard surface but a tough and flexible core."

> This came one day before an event that just about anyone would have regarded as a disaster. I certainly did! Looking back on it with hindsight I now see how by breaking things out of my hands the divine force was offering me the most effective kind of transformation.

As below, so above

"In a train journey you wouldn’t expect to travel for days on end entirely in brilliant sunshine beside a beautiful river. No, to get to your destination you must sometimes pass throu tunnels to reach different valleys – nor is the weather under your control. The vehicle you travel in is not immune to defects, and there are minor matters like uncertainties with making connections!
"In the outer life, your consciousness sets your goals and integrates matters to ensure their realisation. In the inner life your sub-conscious or super-conscious (they are effectively the same) sets your goals and integrates matters to ensure their realisation. Accept that if you are clear about your goal the path that unfolds is the one that leads there. Don’t worry too much about the route it takes, there are all sorts of considerations which may be invisible from the ground, but which your guide/s can see clearly."

A new cycle

"The start of a new cycle. Time to cleanse yourself of the past and be open to the future. Be in your power (Qi), and let your power be love."

> I hope that this message is relevant for you, today, as you encounter it.
> From my perspective, uploading this13 years later, I know now that it came at a specific time when matters were heading towards a dénouement in my magazine, CataList. The magazine itself was not breaking even so I had looked around for ancillary activities we could bolt on - and had undertaken to sell advertising for a health exhibition catalog. This required more staff but at first appeared a succesful and profitable in that it increased our turnover & thus eased our cashflow. What hapened occured later can be read in the entry dated 18/6/93