Is it okay not to feel okay?

Is it okay not to feel okay?
"That is a big question. Can you see your essential self as separate from your experience of yourself? Who you are is different from what you are. If you can learn to accept who you are even when you don’t feel as you wish youll’ve taken a giant step towards unifying your perceptions. When you feel a little down you attempt a remedy -smoking, drinking, sex, entertainment- to bring you back to the point where you can jog along unthinkingly. But down has a message for you as much as up, why not listen to it?
"Instead of accepting that certain situations alienate you, you prop yourself up lest your nakedness appear to the world, why not examine the process? You’re alienated because you have a special consciousness that others don’t share. You’re ashamed, perhaps, of your vulnerability? If you could accept it you’d begin to lock on to the energy source that your nucleus of ‘vulnerability emotions’ can provide.
"You have a pain, your first reaction is 'I must get rid of it.' No, let your first reaction be 'Why have I got a pain? What is it telling me?' Is that headache … the result of overwork? … of sustaining an untenable situation? … of lack of psychological unity?
"Is your depression … anger at your situation? … feelings of powerlessness to communicate? … frustration at a failure to breakthrou to the deeper awareness that awaits you? 'Ha,' you say, 'that’s all very well, but I cant do anything about it, I depend on my current situation to earn enough to go on self-improvement courses.'
"No, its a sign that you’re on the wrong road. The treasured goals your ego has set its sights on (the ones where you’re ‘going to serve God’, remember) are not what your guardians have in mind for you. You were allowed the ego goals because they focust your attention in the right direction, and they were as far as your natural eyesight could see — but now you have access to spiritual telemetry you can see other shapes forming, perhaps nebulously at first as you accustom yourself to the different way of seeing, but bigger bolder, of fantastic unimagined proportions — yet confusingly fluid. They are waiting to be realised thru your personality.
"So do it! If your heart witnesses that its right, step out, follow the dream, enter the awakened world. But don’t expect it to be like the world you’re leaving. The roof will fall in. To the unawakened mind disaster will seem to follow disaster, until you become aware that they’re to show you that your survival doesn’t depend on any of the factors you have hitherto valued.
"You feel shame at the idea of publicly acknowledging your vulnerability or dependence? Why? Vulnerability is the jewel in the crown of God’s greatest servants. How otherwise could you/they continue to feel the promptings that lead them on to ameliorate the sufferings of their fellows? Do you suppose they feel less bewildered than you? Indeed they do not!
"What must you prove? That you’re an adult and can manage your life alone? Can you really? You can't be much fun as a partner! All life is interdependence. Perhaps we come to the real point, you’re afraid that if you trust anyone theyll betray you. Alas they probably will, but if you still trust them knowing that, then you already have a fulcrum on which to balance your relationship.
"At first your mind and your heart are on opposite sides of the scales and the balance tilts precariously as either preponderates, but slowly perhaps you can draw these apparent poles of experience towards the centre so that their wild swings are minimised ... and in time you will succeed in blending head and heart within one centred self.
"What’s important is that you surround yourself with friends who are also searchers. Truth can never be comprehended either completely or alone. If it could, Science would’ve found it. Truth is like dew sparkling on a spider’s web, a spun filament that catches faint echoes of the great multidimensional mystery of life — yet existing only where the web of acceptance has been woven by and suspended between those of like mind. Each one of the group must play hir part holding and maintaining the web, or it becomes distorted when a drop lands on it -which you could never have apprehended alone- and you can then see things not only from your viewpoint but also reflected thru 360°, in the eyes of others whose reactions and meanings provide a known system of reference.
"But none of this can happen unless you begin to be honest with yourself about your own feelings. Everybody gets down at times, indeed the higher you rise the more easily you’re crushed by negative vibrations. Remember, down has a psychological function or you wouldn’t feel it. Open yourself to it, and listen (without prejudice) to what your body tells you, and the experience can become like a rubber band, only drawn down to fire you right up.
"In a world of infinite vulnerability where people armour themselves by anticipating disappointment don’t be afraid to show your softness, its part of your glory. But be wise, a ruminant avoids the company of carnivores!"