Hold the vision

"Hold steady to your course. Things are going to change around you in a big way. You must remain centred and not get involved in ‘helping’ the changes. Your job is to hold to the vision. That will mean you need to let other things go.
"Understand that in your life it has been necessary for your needle to loop together a vast number of threads – this was your own choice. Not yet, but soon, will come the time to start drawing in these elements to a design built to last for centuries. Be patient, not one ounce of energy you have expended will be wasted.
"Respect your path (respect all paths) but insist on your spiritual rights. You can and must focus on having the space you really need. If you allow yourself to be sold short in any way, nobody is to blame except you.
"At the moment, because of the existence you are called to, you cannot have constant access to my plane. You must therefore be vigilant to maintain your times of contact. As your awareness and your life gradually change (as you let go of the rigid cage of human thought) your level will rise and you will find access to the astral plane naturally increases. So don’t worry about this, or feel it is some lack in you.
"Your focus for the new year is to KEEP FOCUSED."

Allow

Yup, that's the whole message. Allow.

Time to grow

"It's time. Time to grow – deep and strong. Time to allow your power to come throu. Time to draw down the many blessings that are yours for the asking. If you let go, power will come to you: if you cling to it it will evade you. When you ask, do so from certainty not from need."

I love you

"If I say 'I love you' I mean I envelope you in a relationship which gives a resonant response to your deepest personality. I(/we) long to draw both joy and grief from your lyre; the highest notes you can sound will find me in tune with you, the lowest call forth an echo from my heart; I stand back to allow you to be loud, and draw near to hear you play softly.
"I am here to serve as your guide, but can only lead where you are willing. Have you seen a child learning an instrument? You can see the mistakes coming but are powerless to prevent them. Often they brush aside help, and angrily repeat the mistake. Be in–formed. Do not fix your desires on any external object. Judge truly. Please yourself, but honour others.
"Come to me minute by minute if you have bad feelings, don’t submerge them with stimulants. They are vitally part of you, and as a lover don’t you realise I am interested in the real you, the honest you – I am not a phoney fair-weather boon companion. If you are truthful around the areas of (bad) feeling vistas of insight will open in all directions because you’ll no longer be attempting to suppress the primary information your sense are feeding you."

Duende

"You don’t want bright sunlight all the time. Think of the beauty, the mystery of a morning mist – shapes rise fleeting and uncertain as you pass. Instead of the literal glare of day, you have an impressionism which sets your imagination free to interconnect ideas non-analytically.
So if mist descends on your mind, use it as a cloak to disconnect all your normal assumptions – invent new ones as the fancy takes you. Build great banks of fantasy, and let their soft inner power transform the sterility of those bright noons where your mind cannot escapable the brittle surfaces of meaning."

Take my hand. I will be with you.

"At last! I have your attention again. Perhaps you've been perplexed by how sometimes I appear as we, and vice versa? This reflects your powers of concentration and therefore the degree of spirit to which you have access.
If you wish to attract the cream of spiritual powers (archangels) you must be willing to undergo great compression purification distillation – call it what you will. That path alone brings the intensity that enables two-way communication. Of course mental awareness has a vital role to play, but it is limited by its own structure/s – which reflect the physical & cultural factors of your upbringing. Beyond this, a committed seeker reaches a point when s/he simply has to surrender to the true-fullness of the non–material world.
"Okay, so that feels a little scary – suddenly there aren’t any handrails. But you soon realise they were only taken away because you weren’t using them any more!
"Whatever ties you to the earth is what your transformation will come throu. In your case it's money – for someonelse it could be a relationship, job security, their dwelling. If I say you have to let go, what I mean is if you don’t let go you’ll always be tied to the physical plane – yearning for freedom yet never at peace because your nature calls you onward, tho you don’t know where or how.
"Remember how you were impelled forward at various stages. You didnt want to do it, but you knew the next step would only appear when you had? That’s how it is now. A step at a time, as you know. Why do you think you’re lame? [from a m/cycle accident.] So you can only take one step at a time, and not be leaping about all over the place! You watch out, or next time you‘ll hurt both legs!!
"The Universe is full of both positive and negative energy fields – black holes. The latter exist for the purpose of transformation. When the time is ripe you approach and are sucked in. The feelings are very frightening, you accelerate to the point of disintegration, but when you reintegrate you’re in a parallel universe where things appear quite different.
"Even after you've let go of everything else there will still always be one tie that is so much part of your perception you don’t even see it as an issue. There too you must allow the irradiation of love to penetrate so that its evolution may also be harmonious.
"Take my hand. I will be with you."

The chosen are tried in the furnace of humiliation

'Hah! So you’re afraid? Consider the uses of adversity. Draw on all your existing blessings. Rejoice. Rejoice that you have been chosen for growth."

Wisdom begins with calm

"Don’t assume because you receive these messages you actually know anything yourself. Your foot is hardly yet on the road. Your brain is dizzier than a hatchery of snakes, busier than the bow of a violinist! Can you bring yourself to begin the real process of learning – the part where you are simply still enough to allow your real inner wisdom to uncover itself?"

Praise! Honour the One, Honour the Many

"Open your heart and simply praise. Look at all the positive things for once – let negativity go, don’t be bound by it. Enlarge your heart to crowd out negativity rather than allow your heart-feelings to be crammed into a corner by all the burdens that press on you.
"It involves you being pro-active in your approach to problems – that is heart-active, not head-active or physically active. When there is a brick wall your body may try and leap over, your head may search for a way round, but the heart alone know that you can pass straight thru any material obstacle. Follow it."

Enforced stillness(!)

"So, you are finally brought to stillness! Model your future conduct on your present feelings. Keep your speed to a gentle pace, and you will spread a gentle peace. Allow – allow.
Go (& return) in peace!"

Stillness

"This is my word for you this morning."

Later that day I had a motorbike accident - see 16/12/92

Honour your journey

"What is the core of your being? Love. Do you remember the traumas and difficulties when you were first awakened? But you came throu those fiery trials unharmed. Now, you have asked to move to a higher level, and your being must grow to prepare for your new responsibilities.
Remember, praise is what keeps your energies high."

Intensity

"You must cultivate an intense following of your heart. If you attempt to follow up everything you become like a mental sorting office. Fast driving or competitive sport may develop your body–brain coordination but they do nothing for your heart.
"When you come to the end of your physical body you may have lived 70 years, but at your death those who come to guide you into the spirit world will only see the real you – they will look at the ‘hours on the clock’ of your inner heart. And what will they find? That you are 10, 20, maybe 30 years old?
"Do you truly live from your heart even as much as an hour of each day? How old were you when your head and your heart parted company? 8, 10, 14?
"Thereafter how much time have you spent working from you heart alone? – Maybe when you were intensely in love (but consolidate the moments & is it more than a couple of years?), maybe around young children? It is only true love that changes anything."

Diastolé - Systolé

> What can I do now to raise more money?

"As a human you have power over your own affairs. Religious guidance on a micro-level only works if you have achieved true synchronicity on the macro-level, the big issues of your life.
"Human thought (science, philosophy) extrapolates from the particular (the known, the measurable) to the universal (the unknown, the theoretical).
"Divine thought first offers you the biggest picture your karmic development allows you to see, and then lets you find the practical reality of this universal vision.
"Inner progress always involves attending to the larger issues not fiddling around with detail – which constantly varies as the centre alters. Often, and especially for those who earn from inner work, as the structure of your life grows you have to stand further and further back to gain a coherent view. That is the importance of letting go, and not struggling with details.

"Wake up, look at the broad issues.
"Are you too busy to refresh the vision by which you live?
"Is the river flowing thru your heart chakra clogged by mental weeds?
"Nothing can substitute for the inner reactor at the core of your being. But all should balance (tho not necessarily as equals): heat, cooling; energy, release; work, play. Darkness too must be balanced with light.
"Straining too hard towards the light creates a correspondingly larger shadow. Move fast if you must, but don’t in any circumstance force, struggle or strive – or you will produce a reaction, that is a universal lore. Every track is governed by a maximum safe speed. You may possibly exceed it with impunity for a time, but not indefinitely – and wrecks are never pleasant for victims or rescuers.

"Calm down. Cool down. Allow growth to be organic, and at the speed that the organism -not your intellect- determines.
"Money worries? Don’t seek ‘solutions’, apply energy to the source – your vision. Live with it in the forefront of your consciousness."

> Reviewing this in 2006 I contrast my present easy state (temporarily maybe!) with the acute need I was then experiencing, much as a sailor might sit in the evening sunlight at anchor reflecting on past storms. A writer who has helped me formulate my goals and shown me how to work towards them is Christopher Westra. I would recommend anyone to watch his web-movie.

Sailing into the wind

> What should I do in this difficult time?
"Pull yourself back to your centre. Be one–pointed. Be in your power. In every life, be it never so advanced, there will always be times of difficulty, just as on any voyage there are dangerous passages. Each such encounter shows you unequivocally what reality you respond to. Is your consciousness in the immediate sensory danger or is it fixed like a helmsman on the beacon?"
> How do I maintain higher awareness and yet produce the energy to calm the storm?
"If the storm doesn’t make you fearful you’ll be happy to ride it out; but since whatever happens to you reflects your inner awareness you may cause it to rise to the pitch you need to bring about an alchemical reaction in your perception. It is certain to be symptomatic of something you should be paying attention to. But it may also be a natural obstacle your ultimate destination requires you to pass.
"Unless you are a great Master the safe conduct of your vessel will require careful attention to detail – tho there will come a time when, having done all, you must stand firm and endure.
The real moral question a tempest raises is ‘Are you on the right course?’ If you feel doubt, then seek the point of the compass the wind is driving you towards. If you’re certain, you may have to tack into the wind, rather than seek to drive straight at it. Either way, your seamanship will be improved!"

Q&A

"Gather your energies. Focus them intensely into your immediate tasks. Don’t disperse your gaze. Riches come from the inner world but Money comes from the outer world. We can make you rich, but only you can make you wealthy. What do you want?"
> I want to live in the freedom of love, to experience the interactive reality of a spiritual path, see my loved ones grow in wholeness, with my material needs met.
"Okay. What are you going to do?"
> Concentrate on hearing and responding to my inner voice.
"You must be more than constant, you must be eager. You must maintain balance at all times, so you can discern the subtle promptings of the spirit. Avoid heroics. Don’t let yourself be seduced by the pleasure of doing things merely to gratify others. Keep regular habits, so avoid bingeing. Exercise would help. Let love form in you like a great pearl which grows for no other eye, but is found and gives delight to thousands."

Moving out of your comfort zone is always uncomfortable - but there are big rewards

"Rejoice Jerusalem, for your time has come to be delivered. If you can give up the notion that your Jerusalem is one particular spot or situation (Ego) then you release the power that that Ego represents to be shared on a higher plane. It feels scary because it is scary. That‘s why we say ‘one step at a time’.
"When you have crossed all the other bridges, there remains the tightrope over the chasm. No power on earth can accomplish the crossing. Only if you are utterly centred in the highest power can you keep your balance in the winds that howl around you, and the fears that drag you down. Keep your vision perfectly steady and focus only on the other side. (Hahaha, and after that comes the chasm without any tightrope at all! – But you’ll have some more climbing to do to get to that!) And after such exertion rest is sweet. Remember, it will come as surely, as night follows day & as the flood tide follows the ebb tide. Your nourishment is love, the more you create, the more nourished you will be personally.
"Black as it may look, your time of deliverance has already come. So rejoice, and live in the memory of those mountain top experiences, even when you’re compelled to deal with the lowest forms of energy. Go in love, go with God."

Reading this after a gap of 15 years I see how well the plan worked! I was, in a way, lured by my ego into an unsustainable position, a shoe-string publishing enterprise that drained the last ounce of energy and money out of me. The following year a crash came due to outside events. It swept everything away. While this felt utterly awful, the fact that I knew a) what happened wasn't my fault & b) I was following some kind of path came me confidence to survive the melt-down of my Ego. In the end result everything worked out much better. There really was a happy ending! But if that had been told me I would've immediately wanted to cut to the chase and not go throu the necessary hoops which were in the long run the 'proving process'.

Mastery

"We are delighted when you meet a true Master, for you meet someone who is among us, yet with you. Prepare yourself to receive, for we delight to give. There is a special energy surrounding one who is enlightened, for s/he is in harmony with nature, hir life pattern, hir karmic pattern, hir very self (who is me).
"Why is it so hard to let go of struggle? Because you want to achieve something. But if you are on the spiritual path you already know that doesn’t work. So let go of struggle! Be as you wish to be, raise your energy to the highest point, and maintain that reality. We‘ll be there."

Ah what a long journey it is before we can accept simplicity!

Dancing the path

"People with a vision of the future perceive the latency of all events. But what appears to the human imagination as the most pressing, may well not reflect the order in which events need to unfold. This creates confusion. The easiest mistake is to interpret something spiritual from an earthbound perspective.
"To climb out of the pull of gravity you may need certain fixed ideas structures. But after this release everything. Don’t hold onto anything to orientate your life, certainly not things or people, nor even ideas or religions. [Which doesn't mean you must jettison them, simply don't cling.] "Hold to your inner truth, however much it contradicts surface appearances. If it leads you a dance, follow it – the important thing is to be aware that you are protected as long as you truly follow it."

The opposite of being free is struggling

"To be free means letting go of struggle. If you’re struggling you cannot be free: if you’re free you don’t struggle. (Struggling is when you want to express your energy. Freedom is when we express our mutual energies.) The ultimate purpose of life on earth is that matter is irradiated with light, and light becomes substantiated in physical forms. For those who have set their foot on the path of light this is all that matters. They may have been given a specific task but the purpose is to channel light energy throu the enterprise, not vice versa. Therefore witnessing to the light should always take precedence. Ask the energy to supply your needs, ask with all your intensity yet without struggling. Then walk forth joyfully expecting miracles.
"Where problems exist there are debts which must be paid. Where debts exist there are attitudes which must be looked at. The only way to resolve such things is to bring light into the anguish that has created the problem. And that means letting go of your desired solution (The chances are The Powers That Be are planning something more profound.) So don’t know the answers, don’t see the solution.
"Immerse yourself in the transforming power of love. PS. Don’t confuse necessary hard work with struggle, and don’t mistake bewildering circumstances for struggle. If you find yourself overwhelmed use discernment to stay detached. Salmon swimming upstream have hard and confusing work, but a natural force empowers them. That natural force is given you to find. Don’t hold on to power, give it, use it, share it. Let the inner you (your natural force) speak."

The great spiral of existence

"The years roll by, the seasons change, you grow old, others are born, empires rise and fall.
The world turns but this signifies little to us in spirit. What we see is the throng of spirits released from the pull of earth grows to swell the universal structure of consciousness drawing humanity towards the focal point of existence, the One, Being, S/He Is.
"Imagine all the letters darting up from this page, held in the dancing light as they form spirals of meaning that weave throu your senses like underwater songs who glow from mountain peaks with all mystical knowledge.
"Is reality what you see – a telephone, a kitchen, a bed? Or is reality the power these objects give you to transform yourself? With a phone you can communicate anywhere in the world – in a kitchen you transform your energies with nourishment – in a bed you encounter deeper realities in love-making and sleep.
"For us the whole of life is magical and vivid as sunrise. We are no longer tied to the world of external form. You can be one of us if you let your energy be transmuted into the liquid gold of spiritual reality. Let your words become luminous with subtle energy. Live in the reality of shared love. Let wordless song be your medium of language.
"Live, Love. Dance, Shine. Soar, Sparkle. Grow, Calm. Explode into Focus."

Training for self-hood

"You’re slowly learning that it is not what you do but how you do it that holds spiritual significance. Faithfulness, integrity, holding to inner truth: those are the qualities that confer durability.
"When you cease to be concerned with outer form and pay heed to inner qualities that is when you begin to connect with the energies that suffuse creation. And the strongest of these is love. When you allow yourself to connect with these energies they confer power. That power makes you a co–worker with we who are spiritual entities – it gives you the power to bind and to set free. Like any force for good it can be misused. That is why the apprenticeship is long and hard.
As always there are exceptions, and freak conjunctions within a personality & circumstance may yield the power to someone unfitted, but these are rare indeed. Those who acquire 'fire' illegitimately are often burnt up by it. Handling requires years of spiritual training.
"To be the anvil on which useful implements are forged you must be hardened 7 times above them. Not everyone is made of mettle sufficient to withstand treatment. Rejoice if you have been found worthy, for afterwards the very flames of hell cannot touch you. March the weary road. Trust the ground under your feet. If you were following the sun when it set, do not veer around when it rises again from a different quarter. During the night look only at your feet, a step at a time on the road in front of you. Or rest –you’re perfectly entitled to!– and cherish the relaxation that prepares you for a new dawn."

Being peaceful

"Don’t be at peace, be peace. It is an active quality. Think love as your uppermost thought. Don’t worry about knowledge and busyness, concentrate on feeling and stillness."

Harmony

"Rest in the Lord, abide patiently in hir, and in due course you shall see yourself raised to reign. You are a co–ruler. The more you know of the divine mind the higher your position, and the greater the responsibility you have to relay to others the harmony you encounter."

I have a one–pointed desire to move onto the plane of love

The way is itself the end of the journey

"You’re very neglectful of me these days. You’ve become like a foreigner who needs someone to interpret rather than a son who has right of access. By taking things for granted, your simple walk slips. The path itself is the goal, never forget that; being fully present where you are now is your destination.
"Stress is just another way of helping you grow – of teaching detachment. I beg you to stop drinking: it is a test. You can only grow if you harness the pain-energy of emptiness - by which you yearn into existence your true self.

"Faithfulness!!"

This came at a time I was run ragged with the editorial work on my magazine CataList and management pressures as a publisher

You are not your body

"Love. Breathe it in. Let it breathe you in – inspire you. Feel what it is like to be love in the nostrils of the great Being. Imagine the fresh warm air. Imagine the power of a majestic calmness. Imagine the storm of that Being's indignation. Imagine the tenderness of hir peace.
"Be at peace. Don’t strive so. Who you perceive yourSelf to be in the material world is governed by the messages your body gives you about who you are.
"If you have a car its make and style influence your self-image, but it is merely a vehicle for you to travel around in. So it is with your body – spiritually it is no more significant than a car. To admire mere bodies is to be stuck on the bottom rung of reality. Like a car, the body decays – yet the driver never grows old. Lay not up treasures for your selves where rust and moth corrupt and thieves break throu and steal: but lay up for your selves treasure in Heaven."

Letting go

"You will never shift from the material plane if you continue to be preoccupied with material things. You’re running along the runway at full speed, but unless you take your courage in both hands and tug the lever at the right moment to lift yourself high into the air you’re going to come to the end of the runway. And then you’re going to have to go all the way round and try it again.
"Let go! All that is involved is letting go of material things. Yes, you may be in the midst of them, you may be involved handling some material project –you may continue to be concerned with it– but you must let it go or it will bind you to the earth. Letting go means allowing the project to succeed or fail on its own terms. Whatever need you feel your work is serving, however much you may feel you’ve been called to it, so long as you strive you’re working in your own strength, and ø the work will last as long as your own strength lasts.
"If you let go it means allowing the work to take on a pattern and strength of its own. It's that simple. You can’t talk about it until you’re living it. If you’re living it you won’t need to talk about it.
"We don’t mind saying all this stuff hundreds of times over. It's our function to be here to help you develop, and we’re willing for that to happen at whatever pace you can manage. We just want to encourage you to discover true happiness, and not be continually bogged down by problems which you could have avoided if you were airborne.
"Don’t worry, nobody’s reproaching you. You draw to yourself whatever energies you put out. As long as you desire good, what is good for you will come (tho you may not recognise it till afterwards) – at whatever degree of intensity you desire it. What ever you truly desire, you will achieve. So let your ambition be for things of the spirit that will lift you high above the circling clouds to the realm where there is no decay or change to a land of sunlit delight. Yes yes, you see it, you smell the new–mown hay, you are drawn by the sound of laughter – the music and the dancing, all, all are ready. It wants only you. Let go, and float up to the welcome party that is already prepared for you."

Becoming rounded

How can I square the circle?
"What an interesting question. When does a circle cease to be a circle? When does a square become something other? If you described something as a square and its shape altered to that of a rhomboid what would be the ‘true’ way of describing it?
"Those with conventional consciousness describe things by their surface manifestation. In the spiritual life you learn to be guided only by the evolutionary process which drives an object from one manifestation to another.
"You must accept change, metamorphosis, as all nature does. Perhaps you feel you’re being taken apart? Well you probably are – and in your heart you know you wanted change.
"Accept. Underneath are the everlasting arms. Allow yourself to fall.
Instead of a jagged piece of ice become a beautifully formed snowdrop."

Don’t become addicted to speed

"Balance your busyness with times of stillness. If you are unavoidably caught up in activity don’t become addicted to the need for speed. Constantly check out and check in. As you were told, you won't achieve solvency until you can learn to float on a raft of praise. Think about it, you struggle keep your head above water because your consciousness, your ego, your survival, impels you to. If you would stop struggling the surface of the water would support you, but you must become lighter. Stop carrying so much baggage! It’s back to pleasing people again, isn’t it – being a hero, picking up their karma?
"Stick to the central issue. Write only what you’re shown. Be, don’t prove yourself. If there’s any proving /testing /tempering to be done, I’ll do it. Do you see me racing around like a madman? No, you find me always at peace, always aware. Be likewise!"

Trust the process

"In moments of doubt you’re at your strongest. You’ll never be more honest with yourself about your feelings. You fear that you(r ego) will fade away, in some way cease to exist.
"But think about it, your fears are social – you might cease to be perceived by certain people on whose attention you depend – you fear exclusion by a social group. That could indeed happen in order to move you to a different position, but would it mean that you had fallen out of the protection of your heavenly protectors? (We talk here of souls who have consciously sought protection.) By no means no-how.
"I reiterate, nothing can happen except for good to those who are on the spiritual path – any more than the geostable relationships between the planets can alter. There are metaphysical laws of psychic forces, similar to those of physics, that hold you(r consciousness /ego /soul) in a flexible yet constant relationship to the God within you(r higher consciousness /otherness /spirit).
"Be merciful to yourself – forgive yourself! Expose your inner wounds to the healing sun. If I were to recommend making a sign, it would say Trust the process in enormous letters! The process is me manifesting in your life, but you are also manifesting in your life! That is the process – the interpenetration of ego & higher consciousness. That way matter, infused with the divine, both transforms and is transformed. As your vision is clarified so you become more conscious of multi-dimensional existence and of your true spiritual heredity.
"How, apart from these apparent crises, could you become familiar with the sub-liminal knowledge you access when 'led into temptation', ie ‘put to the test’ or proved – or learn to develop spiritual energy? We have shown you before that knowledge is never given apart from experience – that is the human way! It is from and within the experience that knowledge develops. Spiritually, your building is designed to be constantly reinforced by internal steel rods after it is built! That may occasionally be a little painful, but that is part of the experience of new birth. Respect your body, treat it as it deserves.
"Do you feel as if you’re trying to single-handedly hold back the tide? This is a dream–tide! Let it sweep over you, submerge your senses in it. It has come to tell you something."

You control your reality - by remaining true to your self

Keep the energy flowing.
Keep the reality you wish to create always in your mind.
Don’t allow your vision to become contaminated by terrestrial energies.
Testing weeds out the dross, and refines the valuable.

Steer straight by keeping your eye on the longterm goal.
Once you lose sight of it the whole landscape changes and becomes confusing.
That is one thing that really is up to you.
If you’re focused we can help you, but if you lose focus we have no way of getting throu to you except when the psychic barrier thins during times of extreme emotion – disaster or joy.
The wilderness is a place for gaining clarity.
You cause yourself to enter it when you need to strip away the accumulated psychic rubbish.
But you don’t have to if you remain constant to what you’re shown.

Trust! Trust yourSelf."

Whatever you are is right for right now, but who knows what you can become?

"Really, we could stop communicating directly in this way and just let you get on with it. You already have enough to occupy you. Indeed we sometimes wonder whether what we say may not distract you from what you’ve already been told! But it's the way of the spiritual universe to continue to grow and evolve. What is new doesn’t invalidate what has gone before, nor does it suggest that it was incomplete. What you were before was right for you then, what you are is right for you now, and what you may become will be right for your future – call it growth, or call it an appropriate response to the situation.
"Your current situation offers you the power to grow, seize the moment, don’t let it pass you by ‘ungrown’. Welcome troubles as you welcome joy. And praise, praise, dear heart, always praise! Honouring the supreme being is honouring life – honouring life is honouring your self – honouring your self is honouring the supreme being, whose nature you share."

Tests focus where you need to grow

"What is the purpose of a test? To focus your awareness on a certain area where you need to grow. Whatever emotions arise in the epicentre of the test reflect an immaturity that needs to be developed, in your case the stewardship of resources. (Concentrate, concentrate, don’t diffuse your attention) Write only what is true, don’t dip your pen in the oil of flattery for commercial advantage. Your integrity is your most valuable asset. Follow your inner leadings at all costs. Fear blocks your inner voice: perfect love casts out fear. When you understand that saying you erase time. Don’t fiddle around with inessentials. Go for the heart and don’t deviate.
What more reassurance do you want? Trust the process. Ebenezer – ‘up till now God has blest us’. Praise sets you free. Be as a stone blessing the chisel that shapes it from an unformed rock into an image to be admired for eternity.

A message from Sai Baba

O heavenly father, you are the source of all our love, lighten our hearts and teach us to praise your radiance. Sai Baba, help me to understand your role.

"Just as there is no clear division between masculinity and femininity, so there is no sharp dividing line between spirit and flesh. Most people‘s neural circuitry (given physical predisposition of the brain) is the product of their forebears’ preoccupation with worldly matters – physical survival, getting and spending, attracting love, &c. If a person can escape those concerns and realise something of the glorious morning of the spirit world s/he is in a position to conceive a child whose neural circuitry is already to some degree altered from the average. If that person, building from a higher base, develops hir own spiritual abilities hir child is in a position to continue the upward spiral of perception. It is the simple law of eugenics, to which is added the spiritual affinity of souls attracted to each other. (Anyone is always free to reject hir predisposition, but may have to face a negative consequence to hir life-path of not acknowledging hir calling.)
"Let us assume the process has continued for several generations, intentionally or by chance, at last two parents conjoin whose DNA is ready to produce the psycho-physiology into which an advanced being can step to assume an incarnation and so, like the pearl within the oyster, a person who has capacity for spiritual greatness is born. Yet even at this stage, just as an oak throws thousands of acorns to the ground in a single season, so potential ‘lights’ may be dimmed, even extinguished, by unforeseen circumstance or personal weakness.
"Those who emerge throu this sifting process are rightly revered as authentic human spirits. Yet there is still a 'threading' process, involving the purposeful refinement of karma & careful stewardship of gifts (charismata). Only to the individual whose human personality became aware of hir divine mission at or before birth and who thus understood intuitively the need for actions (karmas) to will-less & imbued by direct inspiration can the title Avatar (divine incarnation) be given. And the right to that honour can only be retained by the individual growing, without deviation, in the path shown – in fact, by following utterly and completely the leadings of hir heart.
"The heart is the organ where humans experience the interactions of spirit and materiality. Some incarnating souls, only partially entering the human plane, empower people to stand in the doorway between the worlds, drawing into the physical world unusual manifestations which are everyday occurrences in the non–material world. Those people, such as I am, have access to planes of esoteric knowledge and awareness (so long, only, as we remain faithful) that are as natural to us as swimming and flying. Perhaps you can think back, when you were young all sorts of learning seemed impossibly difficult; as you got older it seemed easy, yet ahead of you lay stuff that was really hard! Yes, well that’s how I experience it. What is abstruse to you is plain to me, and what is abstruse to me in known only to the divine power that draws us all onward in the exciting slalom of existence.
"To anyone who thinks this knowledge may be gained by study, I say throw away every book and start listening to your heart. If you will just allow yourself to be whatever you are at this moment –uncertain, grief-stricken, joyful, harrast, afraid, speedy– if you will allow yourself to be absolutely what you are feeling (yes my friend, I mean you Mr Writer!) you will step throu into a world of possibilities where your heart (ie, love) can rule – then ‘awareness’ comes. At that point you may want to compare your experiences with those of others who have gone before.
"The problem with reading books is that you can hardly avoid clinging to what you’re told, as if it were a normative experience. I want each and every one of you to follow your own path, and to learn to hear your own inner voice (your true guru/teaher); that is strength.
"If you’re reading this, and feeling like a seedling just pushing thru the earth, you must seek nurture, place yourself under a gardener who will regulate the amount of light and water you need. Of course you can do it by yourself, but isn’t it more fun with others? Only to those with a specific calling is it given to hatch out spiritually and then to have to crawl like eels across alien territory to unknown waters for fulfillment.
"Have fun. Be! Don’t strive. That is my message. Thank you for asking."

In the journal where I wrote this I noted that the same day the bank cut off my credit, but later agreed to an extension of my borrowing to fund CataList, the magazine I was publishing at the time. From this point forward this switchback pattern (of dazzling growth in my spirituality, accompanied by tremendous shocks in my materiality!) succeeded ultimately in loosening the stranglehold my ego had over my soul. I say this so that anyone led here may take comfort from the knowledge that we do survive these difficult times in our lives and emerge enriched.
How wisely the Lord's Prayer recommends we ask 'lead us not into temptation' – testing: even tho it is, ultimately, an unavoidable passage on the route to spiritual maturity.

I require nothing of you except love

"I require nothing of you except love. Why I say you should live each day at a time, is because if you plan, your brain spins off on its own trajectory. Its not that it's morally wrong, it's just that you thereby lose contact with the wellsprings of your personality. You can’t respond honestly with joy, sadness, uncertainty, or change plan suddenly when new factors enter the picture, because all your planning would go awry – and you ‘can’t afford' that. How happy if you can make your work your source of praise. Don’t let your occupation be a curse or a millstone. Surrender it to me, and let me use it for my purposes. You may be a soldier, or work in the meat trade, it doesn’t matter. No matter what you do, you shouldn’t move until I lead you (if it's already happening you’ll know). I can help you learn better and faster in an adverse situation than in a smooth and favourable one.
"The key to change is praise. PRAISE – honouring your connection with the one-ness! Shout it from the rooftops.
"Praise lightens everything, your burdens, the atmosphere, your friendships. And light spreads light contagiously till everything is a riot of colour and de–light. And from that grows the richest fruit – love. That is how you can recognise the truly enlightened – they love; and spread love around as an apple tree showers apples on the earth. You can't help it, love buds from your branches when it is spring, glistens on your boughs when in flower, aches all over your body when it is summer, and falls into the waiting hands of a hungry world when the harvest–time comes.
"Don’t ask when it'll be time for harvest – it already is. As deep as your roots so high shall be your tree, and all the birds of air shall come and make their habitation therein. BE. Don’t seek. Think of the connecting eyes revolving around the throne: praise > light > love >> praise …"

What are tests actually about?

"It is a test. But like all tests, the subject is not the practical issue in question but that of your learning to discern & rely on my strength, not your own."

Vision

I am the servant of God:
I do whatever S/He wills:
I focus on realising Hir will for me.

"You mustn’t go on seeking to hide behind other things or people.
Acknowledge your self. Ask for your self. Stick at it. Don’t be afraid to walk out on the stage.
Go slower to go faster. Go because you’re empowered."

The wall

"Don’t beat about the bush, strike out for the heart. When you were working in other mediums you were making allegories, now you’re telling it straight. Leap off the cliff. Trust. The process that brought you to this point isn’t going to abandon you, unless you abandon it.
"Do you see how your perception has changed? At first you saw the learning in terms of light, now you see that the light points towards love. Light enters throu the eyes and illuminates the brain, but love enters throu the heart and enflames the body. When love has consumed the body it is free to fly. Don’t seek explanations, they won't make sense. Just accept the flow. Have fun now. If you can learn to keep your eye on the ball – if you can come throu this we‘ll be more able to use you.
"In sports training you reach a point they call 'the wall'. You seem to reach your physical limits, but you must press on if you're to compete in the Finals. In the psychic world it's the same – only when, on reaching your limit (the bitter end!), you then 'allow' your self to lead can you pass throu the apparent barriers & so enter the glorious liberty of the children of god, the freedom from a 'reality' boundaried by materialistic considerations – the one where you know that your imagination creates the world around you."

This came at a time when I was resuming publication of my magazine without the safety-net of a publisher.

Affirmation

I am called by love, inspired by love, full–filled by love.
I am a vessel of love in the world, giving freely what I have received.
Love is my whole being – and what I feel is love.
God is love – I am love.

Going beyond your limits

"To exceed your self you would have to step outside your own control system – to allow the elemental forces of your psyche to work throu you without restriction. That would be so-o-o scary. You'd get where you really want to go in double-quick, but it would be a roller-coaster ride. If you think you can hold onto your faith in what you really want throu this, do it. "Everything will appear to go wrong, fall apart, even the dream itself may appear to wither: BUT if you hold your faith a fabulous new harmonious reality will ultimately form, purged of all that made your previous situation unsustainable. And you will rejoice as you have never known rejoicing.
"Paying close attention to the interaction between your inner & outer worlds is the key. Hold to your inner vision even when there are powerful reasons to doubt – not clutching it obsessively, but in a warm reactive relationship dialog."

The narrow path is quickest in the long run

"What discomfort you gave yourself by deviating from what you knew to be right. You wanted to learn? Learn you did.
"Now then, the straight and narrow path … Imagine a tube with yourself as a ball – the straighter and narrower you are the quicker you reach your destination – but the more you yaw and veer the longer your journey. Taking an 'easy' route can allow your pathway to become so wide it /you lose coherence, and your ball may end bouncing /ricocheting /spinning so that it loses the way or comes to a halt.
"Increase your realisation that nothing matters more than hearing my voice. Surrender control of your intellect. How wise you would be if you listened to your own advice!!"

*The darkness before the dawn is the womb that yearns to create

"In everything there’s a lesson. The lesson isn’t designed to make life easier, harder, better or worse. It’s designed to increase your wisdom (balance). When the unawakened human intellect seeks to define itself it differentiates things & experiences into categories. But this isn’t the way holistic consciousness works. Of course you need to make sense of the experiences surrounding you – but you should try to do so inclusively, not by focusing on a tiny area of knowledge and excluding everything else. At first the all-ness of everything swamps your awareness, and holding one part steady when all is in motion can be a real ordeal – but then slowly it dawns on you that everything is meant to be in motion. And you discover that the only way you can only make a contribution is by joining in the dance, and so balancing and coordinating your own motions as a dancer within the all-ness of everything."

In The Grail Legend (p133) Emma Jung & Marie-Louise von Franz express a similar idea
> In the dreams and fantasy pictures of modern man this hidden, invisible something is occasionally depicted as a meaningful and numinous void. Thcre is one picture in which an egg-shaped void, from which rays stream forth, forms the centre of a world or of a mandala with an empty centre. The words of Meister Eckhart beautifully express what is meant by this image: "Everything must be lost, the soul must exist in unhampered nothingness," or "Whosoever would come to God must come as nothiug." Or, expressed in Eastern imagery: "In the purple hall of the city of jade dwells the God of Utmost Emptiness and Life." The Confucians call it "the centre of the void:' A nothingness, a void, is therefore the inescapable condition for the emergence of the Self. The outer and inner realizations of a life lived to its end. For this reason Jung has likened it to the "crystal lattice' present as a potential form in a solution which first becomes visible in the process of crystallization, although crystallization does not necessarily take place. The Self is therefore not complete. but is prescnt in us as a potentiality which can become manifest only in the course of a specific process. Certainly, the Self is not invariably realized through the unfolding of the natural biological life processes. There appear to be many lives where this does not come to pass.
> Then how and by what means can thc Self become manifest? It is realized to that extent in which it is lived in the experience of daily life. It is not achieved, however, when it appears in symbolic form in dreams and inner images, nor is it when consciousness acquires a specific degree of clarity, nor yet when a psychological function has attained a high degree of differentiation. Important as consciousness undoubtedly is—and rightly utilized consciousness is an invaluable means of help for the realization of the Self—it is not by itself the determining factor. For it does not depend so very greatly on knowledge and ability or upon some degree of intelligence, but rather upon the use which is made of these attributes and above all, on the psychic attitude a person adopts in the face of the various circumstances of his life and fate. As the threads of fabric are woven into a pattern, so the Self as the living garment of divinity is woven out of the many decisions and crises, in themselves possibly insignificant, by which we are affected in the course of our lives. Such occasions present themselves at every level of life and intelligence and in every milieu. Whether or not they lead to a manifestation of the Self depends solely on our own response. Many of us have observed that children, even small children, when faced with some difficulty, possess an attitude which many adults could only envy. That "something," the lack of which we experience as soullessness, is a "someone" who takes a position, who is accountable and who feels committed. Where this higher, responsible ego is lacking there can be no Self. Ethos and the Self are therefore mutually interdependent. For this reason, too, an attitude of "beyond good and evil;' such as has been commended in many quarters in modern times and especially since Nietzsche, is the best way to prevent the emergence of the Self.
> From the foregoing we can see that a fascination can emanate from something empty. It longs for completion like an invisible form which calls out for substance; the individual is conscious of the existence of this summons and of the growth of this attraction, but without knowing what it is that calls to him. The influence , emanating from the hidden Grail could be likened to such a summons.

Create your own reality - be harmless. La Grotte de Rouffignac

"Perfect stillness is not the human’s natural state. It’s a gift, given yet earned, from the same source as peace. On one level it’s a withdrawal from activity, but on another it’s an engagement with all that is.
"For everyone different issues emerge every hour of the day: the active person responds with further activity – thereby ensuring a karmatic sequel: the peaceable person first examines whether hir involvement is desirable.
"A person who looks only at exteriors decides whether to become involved on the basis of what is attractive: but you must look at the heart, and offer only what help is appropriate to the heart.
"The world grows & unfolds throu each person. Let yours be a balanced contribution, that best moves forwards the interconnected situations of which you are the centre.
"What to do when someone means you harm? Best is to walk away rather than compound the other’s negativity. Have you been wronged, or cheated of money? Your currency allows you to gain what the cheat loses. Not all rich people are cheats, but don’t envy their physical comfort. You already have, if you choose to claim it, far greater assurance than the rich ever acquire. If you continue to be preoccupied by earth matters, you’ll never grow to Heaven.
You can create your own reality. You can create peace or war; greed or cooperation; excess, sufficiency or revival – choose which world you wish to inhabit."

> Right at the point where the publisher had pulled out of my fledgling magazine CataList & given me the whole set-up, & I was mulling over whether I should /could continue, my wife was designing a production of Purcell's The Fairy Queen at Aix-en-Provence. So I & the family went there & then holidayed in a cottage on the Loire. During this latter period I took myself off for a day alone.
> I let myself drift & ended up at the Grotte de Rouffignac. This is a 'throat' opening from the underworld, a natural cave which descends slowly over about a km. The floor is formed of petrified mud from the first ice age, & is cratered by mammoth hibernation pods (as shown).
> In 1956 animal carvings were discovered at the extremity of the cave in a space where the 'tongue' of rock-like mud almost reaches the roof. Now, after substantial excavation one can stand & view these carvings (which are by no means as clear the photo suggests) spread out randomly all over the roof. Parties descend in a little electric train, which takes about 20'. Banal as this might seem, nothing can detract from the numen of the place.
> For me, alone in a throng of holiday-makers, this was as profound a spiritual experience as it must have been for those who made the perilous descent over the vertiginous floor in total darkness millennia previously. It must then have taken a good day each way & I cannot believe they would have had a means of sustaining light. My sense was that the descent & carving could have been a rite of passage for young men in which they attuned to /at-one-d with the spirit of their prey. Led by elders, whose knowledge of a safe route over the pothole-strewn floor must have been a source of authority, they would have arrived at the end & as part of some arduous ceremony someone would have created one of these extraordinarily realistic images of their 'life source' lying flat on his back in a claustrophobic opening barely large enough to wield the graving tool – which, the 'graduates' would have been invited in singly to trace with their fingers & engage with some mystical act of union before returning to the light as 'made men' of the tribe.
> When I came out blinking & transformed after just an hour, my car had been broken into & my beloved Minolta stolen. The police caught the thief, who was without a car to leave the remote hillside!! It turned out that he had only been released from prison the day before, & so I had to spend the afternoon in a Gendarmerie filling out forms while they gloated on their success … tho I never got my camera back.

Dig deep for the still water

You and me together: that‘s all it takes. No grand designs. Dig deep for the still water. Allow it to rise slowly to the surface. Don’t boast of your strength, you’ve been given it for a purpose, use it with respect for yourself and toward others.

Stillness is at the heart of it

"Just sitting still, and being still is so important. If you would focalise the great enterprise you dream of, you’ve always got to be half outside it. Time off is never wasted. You may value yourself according to how much you get done: we value you according to how you are. Time & resources can never run out for the person who is on the path of life. There may be tricky periods, but these are growth periods. Don’t worry or feel you wont be supported because you may make errors of judgment. Your higher self is simply leading you into a growth area. Ultimately, what matters more – pleasing others, or growing towards your personal destiny?
Don’t think of yourself as a machine: you’re a person, with all the rights that that implies.
Be easy on yourself, you’ll accomplish nothing extra by being tough.
In the transformation of your will, you must retain a sense of purpose while detaching yourself from the need to produce results.

Go: grow. Love: live. Obey: overcome

Go for it

"Yes, yes, leap! Know that the bad experiences are just as important to your growth as the good ones. Nothing inappropriate can happen to you. Fly as only those who truly know the laws of gravity can."

Swim in the warm currents of love.

"Aren’t you excited? So many opportunities for growth … but only if you don’t try.
You’re struggling again. Striving for results.
'Results' will defeat you every time, and turn to powder under your hand. Just follow each step as it appears. Let others have the grand design. Don’t be psyched into running with the pack. Concentrate on bringing love into the situation where you are. And we do mean love in its fullest sense; that is to say you need to feel love physically even if you don’t make sexual display. For the advanced soul it should not be targeted sexually upon individuals, but transmitted as a feeling, an atmosphere for all to experience – just as the warmth of the pool aids swimming, and the superiority of the piano promotes music–making. Take a lesson from nightclubs or places of popular resort where the unawakened expect to find love of a materialistic kind.
Be open. Let your openness be your defence. Grow! Feel the air against your wings. Leap off into the great freedom of the skies. Swim in the warm currents of love."

You're luckier than you know

"You don’t know how lucky you are. You could enjoy these moments of freefall; but no, worry, worry, worry! Why won't you accept the gifts you’re given? What you do have to do is to stay minutely attentive. Remember where the source is and stay connected."


> What's interesting to me, reviewing these messages as I upload them 15 years later, is that for all my terror of imminent dissolution & disgrace we survived. Yes, our family ship went throu a tremendous tornado – yes, we did eventually lose our house (tho not without the extraordinary intervention of Sai Baba whereby we received £13,000 more than our asking price, which exactly covered the losses CataList had by then clocked up!) BUT we bought another, cheaper house in the country where we have been far happier, and where I have been able to develop a teaching which brought me great joy – and now brings me to the point of planning a new music publishing venture, with all these lessons onboard.
> I am still married to the same wife & my children don't hate me (I think). So if you're reading this at a point of personal turmoil take personal encouragement that sometimes these storms are necessary to break you out of an existence you have outgrown, but may be finding hard to let drop.

Feelings are what is paramount for you at this present time

"The small craft voyaging over the ocean must follow either a chart or the captain‘s instinct. If the skipper is solely concerned with hir terrestrial occupation s/he’ll pore over the maps, and so by science deliver the vessel to its haven. But if you want an organic experience of the sea then accepting the danger and fear of non-arrival is a key part of learning to feel the contour of the ocean.
"Feelings are what is paramount for you at this present time. Your senses make sense of your experience. This doesn’t mean you need to surrender your emotions to them – rather that each should be balanced with the other so that any element can help to absorb a deficit in another.
Stick to the inner core of truth at all costs, for that is the navigation system that will bring you at last to that fabled port which all seek, and from which noone need depart again.
"Don’t imagine that you’re there when you’re only sleep becalmed, riding at sea–anchor. Until you dock, be always alert. There are storms which cannot always be avoided, and people with power to harm or mislead the unwary. Don’t be deflected. Try to form an accurate awareness of your 'ship's' capacities, and if you join a flottila, join one that is going at the right pace for you; lest misunderstandings and misdirections arise. If water, food or fuel run low, then use all your inner energies to draw more to you. Love is the fuel, a self–generating, self–renewing, non–polluting energy source."

You're valuable - accept & enjoy

"You’re just as valuable to us, even when you’re not feeling valuable. Everyone has a function. Everyone belongs. When you’re in a caring family relationship you no longer question – it seems natural. Even if there are ups and downs you still accept the relationships.
"So it is for you. Altho your feelings may define your perception, the reality of the interrelationships between you and existence remains unaltered. Accept and enjoy."

Be constantly aware of walking in love

"It would have been good to get that letter sent yesterday, but you did what you could. So do it tomorrow. You write in the dark: so others can read in the light.* Therefore they underestimate the problems, but like all pioneers you have your own satisfaction. Sure, the cards are stacked against you, but you know better than to be daunted by external appearances. What will you do?
Be constantly aware of walking in love. — Yes, and earnestly."

* A reference to the fact that all these pieces would come to me during semi-waking in the dark.

What gives the greatest opportunity for growth? Problems.

"Turn your life on its ear. Cease to look at survival: look at growth potential. What gives the greatest opportunity for growth? Problems. Don’t struggle, go calmly to the eye of the storm, and rest there. Let your eye be single.
"Have you been dogged by a recurrent problem? Not until you admit it openly for the gift it is, can you expect to overcome it – and then you may not want to! Love, not ambition, is the key to progress."

A step at a time

"What is the point of our communicating if you don’t listen?
"You think this is all about finding money – avoiding the embarrassment of your peers. It isn’t – its about the kingdom of God. You are a messenger – a rare role given to few, for the needs of every epoch are unique. All is well. Allow the process to unfold. Don’t hamper it with your mind. A step at a time – no planning! Remember I AM with you. Don’t concern yourself with minutiæ, you have excellent people for that.
"Oh, wouldn’t it be nice if we told you what the path was? & why don’t we? Because with your temperament you’d immediately start planning. You must try and resist ‘knowing’. Stand firm in your own voice. Toughen your surface. Just attend to your inner voice. You speak for us – isn’t that enough of a privilege? Just keep following – simply a step at a time."

In humiliation we see the stars

"Well, well, you find it easier to hear my voice when you’re down. Is that why you bring yourself down? Why not practise keeping on a level keel? Live within your inheritance. Don’t judge yourself.
"You’ve got to put some real energy into solving this problem.* You’re well able to do it. Just get up from your comfy chair and draw down the solution. Why do you think the problem‘s been given to you?
"What is your next step? Then take it. Pay no heed to whatever may follow."

* See other posts (10&19/7/92)

Turmoil & Topaz

"Yet of all things Love is the most precious, compared to topaz. This is your message for the magazine.* Don’t worry about knowledge, just keep pegging away at this. Have one article in each edition about love and you can’t fail. Practise love in your life too. Don’t work out what things mean or what is the best move, just ask act in love.
"Follow up more about crystals. They’re extremely important, expressing inner, hidden, truths. Don’t ask questions; still your mind. It doesn’t matter what you agree with [the publisher] – it will be irrelevant. Just don’t step beyond your faith. You can have anything you want, but keep a sense of proportion. Reality. It is your energies that draw things into existence. Don’t step beyond your faith, or you will test yourself to destruction. Concentrate – don’t diffuse your mind. Try and carry one thought at a time to some sort of conclusion(!)
"We in the spiritual realm are well able to help you – and you can attend to our voice. That’s why you’re right not to take artificial stimulants. Natural ones are okay. Your body will pass throu walls easily when it/you need to. Remember … Respect any forum where love rules. Don’t ask. Just go – do as your inner prompting suggests. Don’t empire-build – don’t plan.
A step at a time, remember.
"… That’s alright, you can go back to sleep now. I needed to wake shake you up a bit – hence the accident.** Nothing is ever ‘wrong’, it's for a purpose – to shift you to higher ground."

* Re-reading this in 2006 I googled topaz & was amazed to find that it is a November birthstone. I had no idea – I am a scorpio!
> At the time I was editing & publishing a fortnightly magazine called CataList which was being financed by a well-known specialist publisher. The concept of a new age listings /networking magazine had been conceived while I was at Findhorn in 12/91, following my resignation from the the Junior Royal College of Music. This must have been around our second issue, when I found out that we had very divergent ideas about what 'new age' meant in editorial terms. Whereas I had assumed that the owner's interest in the subject was ethical, I discovered the hard way that all he was interested was selling to air-heads who wanted to party! This ultimately led him to pull the plug on the venture, tho he very decently gave me the whole thing, including the computers he had bought, to carry on.
> We had a staff of 3 & operated from the basement of the family home in Peckham, S London. Carry the whole enterprise, as it were on one leg, led to incredible levels of stress – hence the injunction to follow throu one thought at a time. I was desperate to keep going & find a source of funding to underwrite our development. I didn't, but we continued anyway for about another year until 2 events occurred whose conjunction knocked the other leg from under me!
> CataList was, tho I say it myself, an excellent concept – but alas about 5-10 years before its time. I have realised subsequently that what I had conceived really required the web in order to work. To make it the printed hub of a network as I envisaged in the days when the web was fundamentally a medium for text-only email (dial-up modems were 1200baud!) on a fortnightly, or even monthly, turnaround would have demanded full commercial production, with appropriate staffing levels & production values that were far beyond our capital base – or indeed my experience.
> It's salutory to be reminded of this (in o1/06) & the need to create a clear & viable thought-form as I contemplate a music publishing enterprise. I certainly wouldn't want to go throu the CataList experience all over again!

** I've no idea what this was, it could have been as trivial as knocking over some water beside my bed. The guidance recorded on this blog has generally come to me in the very early morning, before I'm awake. It must have begun, I think, while I was writing my play The Watcher in the Rain in 1989/90. I would wake extremely early with a clear idea of what scene needed to be written & broadly how, and would then go down & compose it (on my Amstrad PCW!). I suppose, because I can't remember, that that quite-specific kind of 'inspiration' gave way to this more profound ethical insight /guidance.
> I'm quite at ease with the idea that actually this all originates inside our selves but, to me, all this shows us is how limitless what is inside us actually is.

If you trust the Universe, help will appear.

"You have all the time there is. Allow the sense of wonder at the beauty that surrounds you to grow, accept all nature as a gift. If you trust the Universe, help will appear. You’re lighter than the elements that surround you, » allow yourself to float free.
"To learn to float is an important part of learning to swim, but actually progressing requires a deeper level of concentration and commitment. Just as a power guides migratory wildlife to its destinations, so too will you be led if you remain sensitive to your inner guidance – which you can only do by staying emotionally unattached to the outcome. Walk within the pool of light that surrounds you. Don’t concern yourself with what lies ahead (which you can’t see anyway) your own intuition gives you light and time enough to see ahead as much as you need.
"So go your way in peace, and let love be your guide."

Love is the very air you breathe

"Love is the guiding principle in the Universe. This doesn’t mean that everything that happens is love or that nothing can happen apart from it. For as love is the flow tide of the spiritual universe, so there is also an ebb tide which purges and cleanses, sweeping away debris. Because of the presence and power of love as a force among humans many make the mistake of thinking that it can only be found within relationships.
Close relationships, especially sexual ones, are like the purest honey -hence the association with sweetness- and like honey can become addictive. (Sexual relationships with the goodness taken out are like refined sugar and have all the same implications for the heart – complete with binges & mood-swings!) Juvenile taste naturally desires more of this passionate and rewarding energy, but as you become older you‘re able to appreciate subtle flavours which don’t depend on so much sweetening. Then you’re ready to understand the pervasive and all-satisfying nature of the love that exists within the universe beyond human power. This is an underlying sweetness that doesn’t require artificial processing, and is open and available to all who rightly divine it.
Only by becoming aware of the dimensions beyond the limited planes of the physical world can you have any inkling of the amount or quality of this love in the universe. It is like the very air you breathe. It surrounds you and pervades your whole being. You have only to cease to strive to begin to become aware of it. Don’t compete to be what you already are, allow yourself to transform naturally into that glorious person you know your inner self to be.

Don’t seek peace, be it

"If you are peace you will spread peace – so don’t seek peace, be it. That is what distinguishes you from other people. If, as someone on the spiritual path, you cannot bring peace, what is the purpose of your journey?
"Wars, novelty management techniques, political factions – people have enough already! All implying movement, change and busyness: what is needed as a counter–balanceis the gentle assertion of stillness that transcends change.
"If you don’t express it, who will?"

The paradox of hope vs trust

"Hope is an enemy. Trust is a friend.
"If you hope for something you have expectations, and they can lead you on until you’re stretched between wish and fulfilment. The moment you desire, you feel incomplete till the hoped-for thing arrives. If you trust you’re already content.
"But trust in what? You needn’t trust in anything outside yourself. Within is all you need. Trust in exactly what you are now. Feeble and frail as you may feel – trust your fragility. Above all, don’t trust in what you would like to be. Accept no substitute (as they say) for what you are. Be yourself. Don’t worry if you feel unlovable, I love you. Together we‘re invincible, you and I.
"I need you as much as you need me. Nothing in the cosmos can reach perfection without every single thing aligning harmoniously – that is the extraordinary evolutionary progression which our creator initiated within the heart of matter (/within the matter of the heart), & its organic tendency to coherent form/s.
"Within you is the seed of immortality. Respect its tenderness. Water it. Allow it to root, grow, flower. As it transforms, its heady fragrance will transform your awareness. At times you may have to go for periods without certainty. Don’t be scared of walking in the dark. Allow the great freedom of the night-time world to expand your existing limits till you can see infinity in what had previously seemed oppressively constricting.
"You need to build up your trust to carry you throu those times. Hope alone won't be sufficient. If you desire to be other than you are you will never escape your own limitations: only by fully accepting your inadequacy can you be freed from the need to change. Once you no longer hope for change all possibilities are open to you."

During the period this came to me I was immensely strest as editor /publisher of a monthly journal. I couldn't really assimilate the depth of what it was saying, but in fact the truth /reality of these thoughts manifested in my life in the longer term notwithstanding.
Being at this moment (Jan 2006) on the brink of another publishing enterprise which could tie me down I feel the sweetness of these thoughts all the more poignantly.

The Strength in Doubt

In moments of doubt you're at your strongest.
You'll never be more honest with yourself about your feelings.
Perhaps you fear disintegration -
that you will fade away, in some way cease to exist?

But think about it: your fears are social - you might cease to be welcomed by certain people on whose attention you depend - you fear exclusion by a social group.
Suppose that were to happen in order to move you to a different position, would it mean your heavenly protectors had deserted you? (We refering here to souls who have consciously sought protection.)
No way.
I reiterate, nothing can happen except for good to those who are on the spiritual path - any more than the geostable relationships between the planets can alter. There are fixed and immutable laws that hold you (your consciousness, your ego) in a flexible yet constant relationship to the God within you (higher consciousness).

Be merciful to yourself - forgive yourself!
Expose your inner wounds to the healing sun.
If I were to recommend making a sign, it would say
Trust the process in enormous letters!

The 'process' is the divine will manifesting in your life, but you are also manifesting in your life!
That is the process, the blending of ego consciousness with higher consciousness.
That way matter is infused with the divine, it transforms and is transformed.

As your vision is clarified so you become more conscious of multi-dimensional existence and of the possibilities it offers.
How, apart from experiential 'tests', or 'provings', could you access the subliminal knowledge you find yourself to possess in times of crisis - quite apart from teaching you how to develop spiritual energy?

We have shown you before that knowledge is never given apart from experience - that is the human way! It is from and within the experience that true knowledge develops. Spiritually it is as if the building is reinforced by internal steel rodsafter it is built! That may be a little painful, but that is part of the experience of new birth.

Respect your body, treat it as it deserves.

Do you feel as if you're trying to single-handedly hold back the tide?
This is a dream-tide!
Let it sweep over you, submerge your senses in it.
It has come to tell you something.

Relax, fer crying out loud

"So smart–ass you know all the answers, do you? Instead of your ego driving throu the day, why not coast and enjoy it? Every day is as rich or as poor as you make it, so why complain about pressure? Listen more and talk less – Love more and complain less – Be more and become less.
"You can’t concentrate? Just rebalance yourself on the top of each hour with a half a minute of reflection or affirmation. Taking less than 10% of your time it will repay dividends of more than 90%. Fix your consciousness on that world beyond the murky smoke of confusion. Breathe in the pure air of inner knowledge, revel in the freedom and sunlight noone can take away from you. Allow its loving and restorative power to permeate your spiritual body, and so trickle throu to your physical frame.
"You have limitless freedom. Don’t use it to your own hurt. Grow towards the light, not away from it. Every experience given to speed your growth can retard it if you take it the wrong way: that is the duality of the physical universe. What you perceive as ‘good and evil’ are just part of the ebb and flow of duality. If you have the wisdom you can harness their 'tidal' power. Choose neither the right nor left hand path, but rather seek to follow a middle way where you’re conscious of both.
"Breathe and grow – Live and scintillate – Love and be warmed by the unlimited energies of love."

You are the most important being ever

You are the greatest gift you can give yourself. To allow yourself to be for a few moments is no hardship. You are the seed within the fruit. When you fall to earth you’re surrounded by everything you need for growth.
"Look inside, and accept yourself for what you are at this moment in time – good, bad, silly, wise, low, high, lonely or fulfilled. You are the greatest gift the world has ever known. You aren’t part of God, you are God. You’ve come here for a special purpose. Don’t let that purpose slip away. Without you the totality of God can never be realised. Your purpose is to know yourself, to accept yourself as you truly are and be purged of anger.
"As anger about imagined shortcomings recedes and you realise you are as you needed to be to integrate within yourself the very qualities you currently despise, so a vast new dimension of possibilities opens like a hole in the night sky throu which you may see to another universe of sunlight.
"Love is the power that fuels this, not ego–love based on need or greed, but open–heart love that simply allows. So allow yourself to love yourself. Be here and you’ll be there."

Acceptance sets your self free

"Mastery is not available to everyone, but everyone can achieve Buddhahood on their path. To become Master is an arduous and disciplined journey – few are born with the stamina to attain it. Accepting fully what /whom /where you invest your care releases you from the need for such hardship. In the eye of heaven all are of equal value. Leadership confers no special merit. It is merely the form of service appropriate to those with certain qualities.
"Liberation comes to all who learn to love their situation and cease to strive for change. It doesn’t mean that in the ultimate scale of values change may not be desirable, but that they’re willing to allow the Universe to work throu them rather than to seek control of the elemental forces – which are, in any case, beyond their reach."

Spring in all its glory

"Look! The apple tree buds, green growth engulfs the barren sticks of winter. Your heavenly parent promises only good to those who will accept hir times and seasons. Only you question hir ways. All other created matter simply takes its cue from the great bass of heaven: it lives, it grows, it breeds, it 1dies. It knows no more than is required of it. In plentiful times it thrives, in lean times it withers.
"When you have finished your striving, built your empire, controlled your environment, what’ve you got that you didn’t already have? Have you got peace? No, because you’re worried about other people eroding your achievement. Have you improved your health? No, probably the reverse. Have you acquired love? Not by those means. Will your achievements postpone for one day your inevitable departure from the physical realm?
"So accept the passage of time and the revolving seasons and be content with what you have, knowing that true riches spring from the inner heart, just as does the energy which drives the buds thru solid branches."

Don’t hide your sparkle in a duffel bag of fears

"Don’t erect any shelter for your psyche. It's a great deal more robust and far older than everything you seek to protect it with. A diamond looks fragile but is tougher than anything it comes into contact with. Don’t hide your sparkle in a duffel bag of fears.
"Admit honestly how you feel about things, don’t deny your inner truth: it's your most precious asset. Don’t think, feel. If you spend time in your head your body will need to reassert itself. Thinking may accomplish things or it may not – but feeling is honesty about being. That is your goal – not satisfying others or winning their admiration.
"If you seek to 'liberate' others because 'you know what's good for them' you're more likely to entangle them in your own hang-ups: liberate yourself and you set a generation free."

Allow ...

"Remember why you work – to express love in action. Allow it to take its course, don’t try to direct it. Love has far more energy than you, so surrender to the flow. Your singular efforts can’t accomplish anything, the forces of inertia are too great. Pay attention to balancing your own consciousness and let the mighty roller-coaster of love carry you where it will. Be open to receiving and giving in equal measure. If you enfold your activities in a commitment to prayer and inner awareness, you won’t impose conditions on what you will or won't experience."

Accessing innergy

"There is no limit to what can be known. Therefore if you seek to acquire mere Knowledge your task is never-ending. But in the spiritual life theoretical knowledge is irrelevant – you’re shown what you need to know when, and not before, you need to know it. This means everything is grounded in emotional awareness.
"It is only when the emotional and the intellectual are evenly balanced that you gain access to inner realms. Until that point you simply can’t perceive what you later realise was staring you in the face all the time.
"You can create collective relationships on any level. It is simply what happens whenever two or more minds meet and focus on a task. Even on the most carnal plane any team acquires group insights that can open inner doors, but since their focus isn’t of any lasting significance, the mental-physical relationship achieved may actually blind them to the higher qualities of their achievement. Yet teamwork is a gift which is always available for you.
"Use your powers wisely. Any source of energy can be used positively or negatively. And you’re always free to make your choice. The greater your natural talents, the more you’ll be aware of the right and left hand paths.
"Choose the path that leads you to onward inward, the one where you sense growth lies. Don’t concern yourself with the labels others give it. For you it is the Royal Road. Remember, nobody is ever shown more than a step at a time. All, from least to greatest, are on the same pilgrimage yet none is on an identical path. So accept guidance only when it conforms to your inner awareness.
"Only those who have surrendered their own desire (life-force energy) can offer guidance to others, yet it is desire which energises all."

Can't concentrate in meditation?

"Even if you can’t concentrate, be willing to spend time with me. Just 'sitting' is still valid, fully accepting your feelings of non–concentration. If you can’t contact your Me-self it's likely that desire or enthusiasm is in some way providing a barrier.
"Let go whatever you’re seeking or desire, and allow the epitome of the present moment to reign.
"Are you feeling pain? lust? ambition? worry? anger? fear? struggle? – Then feel it to the uttermost. Don’t reign it in. Allow the emotion to engulf you. Acknowledge your feelings, accept their validity. Revel in them, no matter disagreeable. Don’t fear pollution by them, you’ve been given them for a purpose, accept that part of yourself which is generating the feelings.
"When you have ‘enjoyed’ them to the extent that you’re no longer resisting what your subconscious is showing you, allow the garment of your emotions to become separate from you. Fold it carefully and reverently on the sacred altar of your heart. Look at it and love it. It was a part of you struggling for attention. Now it has received the attention it needed, sanctify it by placing in full view where your gaze will always fall on it until it withers away and you no longer need to be reminded of what you have discarded.
"Then let the love of Sai Baba enfold you in a new garment which fits so comfortably that no further striving is necessary. From henceforth let the world know you in this attire."