Turmoil & Topaz

"Yet of all things Love is the most precious, compared to topaz. This is your message for the magazine.* Don’t worry about knowledge, just keep pegging away at this. Have one article in each edition about love and you can’t fail. Practise love in your life too. Don’t work out what things mean or what is the best move, just ask act in love.
"Follow up more about crystals. They’re extremely important, expressing inner, hidden, truths. Don’t ask questions; still your mind. It doesn’t matter what you agree with [the publisher] – it will be irrelevant. Just don’t step beyond your faith. You can have anything you want, but keep a sense of proportion. Reality. It is your energies that draw things into existence. Don’t step beyond your faith, or you will test yourself to destruction. Concentrate – don’t diffuse your mind. Try and carry one thought at a time to some sort of conclusion(!)
"We in the spiritual realm are well able to help you – and you can attend to our voice. That’s why you’re right not to take artificial stimulants. Natural ones are okay. Your body will pass throu walls easily when it/you need to. Remember … Respect any forum where love rules. Don’t ask. Just go – do as your inner prompting suggests. Don’t empire-build – don’t plan.
A step at a time, remember.
"… That’s alright, you can go back to sleep now. I needed to wake shake you up a bit – hence the accident.** Nothing is ever ‘wrong’, it's for a purpose – to shift you to higher ground."

* Re-reading this in 2006 I googled topaz & was amazed to find that it is a November birthstone. I had no idea – I am a scorpio!
> At the time I was editing & publishing a fortnightly magazine called CataList which was being financed by a well-known specialist publisher. The concept of a new age listings /networking magazine had been conceived while I was at Findhorn in 12/91, following my resignation from the the Junior Royal College of Music. This must have been around our second issue, when I found out that we had very divergent ideas about what 'new age' meant in editorial terms. Whereas I had assumed that the owner's interest in the subject was ethical, I discovered the hard way that all he was interested was selling to air-heads who wanted to party! This ultimately led him to pull the plug on the venture, tho he very decently gave me the whole thing, including the computers he had bought, to carry on.
> We had a staff of 3 & operated from the basement of the family home in Peckham, S London. Carry the whole enterprise, as it were on one leg, led to incredible levels of stress – hence the injunction to follow throu one thought at a time. I was desperate to keep going & find a source of funding to underwrite our development. I didn't, but we continued anyway for about another year until 2 events occurred whose conjunction knocked the other leg from under me!
> CataList was, tho I say it myself, an excellent concept – but alas about 5-10 years before its time. I have realised subsequently that what I had conceived really required the web in order to work. To make it the printed hub of a network as I envisaged in the days when the web was fundamentally a medium for text-only email (dial-up modems were 1200baud!) on a fortnightly, or even monthly, turnaround would have demanded full commercial production, with appropriate staffing levels & production values that were far beyond our capital base – or indeed my experience.
> It's salutory to be reminded of this (in o1/06) & the need to create a clear & viable thought-form as I contemplate a music publishing enterprise. I certainly wouldn't want to go throu the CataList experience all over again!

** I've no idea what this was, it could have been as trivial as knocking over some water beside my bed. The guidance recorded on this blog has generally come to me in the very early morning, before I'm awake. It must have begun, I think, while I was writing my play The Watcher in the Rain in 1989/90. I would wake extremely early with a clear idea of what scene needed to be written & broadly how, and would then go down & compose it (on my Amstrad PCW!). I suppose, because I can't remember, that that quite-specific kind of 'inspiration' gave way to this more profound ethical insight /guidance.
> I'm quite at ease with the idea that actually this all originates inside our selves but, to me, all this shows us is how limitless what is inside us actually is.